Anyone that has read my blogs over the years know that what I write has nothing to do with plugging others. It's purely about my experiences in kink and sexuality. I prefix because I'm about to "plug" someone without the intentions of giving her more popularity 1) she's already popular and 2) she is in my mind breaking boundaries in the transgender porn world and I very much appreciate that.
For starters... Time passes us all by and I feel that I accomplished a lot as a male submissive in front of the camera but it was always a means to an end for me. None the less, I've always ran in the adult entertainment world in some aspect, and as I've transitioned I find myself thinking that I pretty much feel like an outsider because I'm not working in adult film as a trans woman the way I worked in Femdom as a male submissive. Not due to lack of opportunity but simply out of choice. But the people I run with very often are still involved so I'm experienced, yet I'm not "in their world". So I find it interesting but I'll admit I find the trans women porn world to be over the top repetitive.
So seeing what Natalie Mars has done pushing limits in kink is beyond refreshing.
The funny thing is New Years Eve, Lexi Sindel invited me and my partner to Vegas to welcome in the New Year with her. So I'm at her house and Lexi and other peeps are getting ready to go out, as am I and she tells me that someone will be coming over soon. So I open the door and it's Natalie Mars and I have absolutely no idea who she is. I'm like cool, another girl and we are all going to have a good time.
So long story short of the night it was a blast. Natalie and I got to know each other better and 2 days later we shot our first scene together w/ Lexi Sindel and Mistress Tangent. If you don't know about it yet it was an amazing day with a focus on over the top femininity and sissy play as two trans woman. I go back with Lexi shooting from the age of 23 and I'm 31 now. It's weird when your kink idols become your friends. But some how she always comes up with fucked up, weird, kinky shit which as a kinkster I appreciate. I also love how Lexi always pushes the limits, where I'm going with this is so many trans women feel uncomfortable with crossdressers or sissy play because they don't want to be labeled that. However as a kinkster I still find sissy, over the top femininity arousing. On a personal level I've purposely stopped shooting heavily for years. But going back to my original topic, that is exactly why I tip my hat to Natalie Mars. She is the first and only trans woman who pushes kink while being a trans porn star and to me that is powerful.
Think about it. There are a million trans girl sites. A million BDSM sites that involve men, women, and even some that involve trans women but the ones with trans women all 100% relate back to sex. It's almost like trans women aren't allowed to be kinky and ironically as someone who runs in both worlds, so many trans women are kinky.
So I'll write about it and Natalie Mars can break boundaries. Some examples......
She proposed a fucking machine to Grooby Girls and got it done. First time ever and to put it nicely, it's a very popular video.
What takes more courage is taking a taboo fetish, that's even taboo in kink. And that's ABDL (Adult Baby, Diaper Lovers) those terms can be one in the same or completely separate. Personally I've been a DL lover all my life but even as open and kinky as I am it took me a very long time to be open about it cause even to me it seemed "weird". Now, not so much but it takes such courage as a trans porn star like her who is so popular to not only open up about it, but expose it, show it and talk about it and that is powerful.
Additionally she has done a lot of Femdom, bondage, and more. In some ways I feel like I am her. I guarantee you she had no idea who I was until I met her. But that doesn't mean I didn't influence people, I know I did, I've been told so many stories and I appreciate that. For me, the most powerful thing about being in front of the camera was others willingly opening up to me about their stories, it's that-that I love. Because we all have a story. I feel that my blog has ALWAYS been about sharing an inside light on things that those note involved wouldn't know, but I feel is important to know. And to me, what Natalie Mars is doing is a HUGE step in adult entertainment for trans people. Instead of simply being what someone fetish-sizes she's saying I also have fetishes and I'm willing to share with the world. And I, SOOOOOOO Love that!
Showing posts with label feminization. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feminization. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 4, 2017
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Daddy's Girl
Day 10 of chastity, only 150 days to go.
Feminization is the topic of conversation today. She wants me to be as feminine as possible and that is something I also want. With that said, it's easier said than done because I do still live as a man at least part time. On top of that, I've dealt with gender questions all my life and when I'm giving the opportunity to be a girl I eat it up, but I've still been holding back a little bit because once I go there.... I got there.
Knowing how much She wants me as a very feminine girl and prefers me as such drives me to open up and go there with Her.
I came across Yeson Voice Feminization Surgery that is the best way to change one's voice into being more feminine. The doctor has won awards, is internationally recognized for this procedure and as I've done my research I've become interested. The procedure is called VOCAL FOLD SHORTENING and ADVANCEMENT OF ANTERIOR COMMISURE.
http://www.yesonvc.net/disease/feminization_surgery_03.asp
It's a safe procedure, I would have to travel to Korea and it only cost about $7,380.
I have difficulty talking in a higher tone and this is something I think my Owner would enjoy and would be a big step towards greater feminization.
Currently these are the rules of feminization.
1. Always wear panties (I've also begun to wear training & sport bras more often under clothes)
2. Always be dressed in women's attire while in the house (unless we have guests over)
3. Use women's deodorant
4. No body or facial hair
5. I believe I'm going to start wearing perfume
6. I'm regularly learning more and more ways to perfect my makeup
Additionally, I've been forced to perform blowjobs of a couple of men, I'm conditioned to give Daddy regular blowjobs and of course have my ass up for Her and trust me, I crave Her cock.
I also take on all the 'traditional' duties of the household.
1. I cook
2. I clean
3. I do the laundry
4. I take care of all household duties
Slowly updating it. Here is my Amazon wishlist - Keep me femme
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1GMHB37S0FYGN/ref=topnav_lists_1
This is a journey and one I'm looking forward to. I love being Her girl and I'm going to continue to take the steps to be just that.
Feminization is the topic of conversation today. She wants me to be as feminine as possible and that is something I also want. With that said, it's easier said than done because I do still live as a man at least part time. On top of that, I've dealt with gender questions all my life and when I'm giving the opportunity to be a girl I eat it up, but I've still been holding back a little bit because once I go there.... I got there.
Knowing how much She wants me as a very feminine girl and prefers me as such drives me to open up and go there with Her.
I came across Yeson Voice Feminization Surgery that is the best way to change one's voice into being more feminine. The doctor has won awards, is internationally recognized for this procedure and as I've done my research I've become interested. The procedure is called VOCAL FOLD SHORTENING and ADVANCEMENT OF ANTERIOR COMMISURE.
http://www.yesonvc.net/disease/feminization_surgery_03.asp
It's a safe procedure, I would have to travel to Korea and it only cost about $7,380.
I have difficulty talking in a higher tone and this is something I think my Owner would enjoy and would be a big step towards greater feminization.
Currently these are the rules of feminization.
1. Always wear panties (I've also begun to wear training & sport bras more often under clothes)
2. Always be dressed in women's attire while in the house (unless we have guests over)
3. Use women's deodorant
4. No body or facial hair
5. I believe I'm going to start wearing perfume
6. I'm regularly learning more and more ways to perfect my makeup
Additionally, I've been forced to perform blowjobs of a couple of men, I'm conditioned to give Daddy regular blowjobs and of course have my ass up for Her and trust me, I crave Her cock.
I also take on all the 'traditional' duties of the household.
1. I cook
2. I clean
3. I do the laundry
4. I take care of all household duties
Slowly updating it. Here is my Amazon wishlist - Keep me femme
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1GMHB37S0FYGN/ref=topnav_lists_1
This is a journey and one I'm looking forward to. I love being Her girl and I'm going to continue to take the steps to be just that.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
160 Straight Days in Chastity - What!?!
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Saturday, July 19, 2014
Indulge
Last Friday we were supposed to go to a Fetish party but it ended at midnight which is rather early. By the time I got off work and got all dolled up it was too late so we decided to have some fun at home.
We've been trying to figure out my hair for awhile now with my extensions after I cut my long hair off. I wanted to do the alt girl look with a shaved side of the head. And I love the look we got with it.
The makeup, we tried something new and again it came out perfect. I think this is going to be my new look for awhile.
The dress of the night, is a stretchy blue dress that is Tangent's. I've lost so much weight over the past 7 months I fit into smaller sizes and it's terrific. I've lost about 25 pounds since December 2013 and my feminine figure shows tenfold now.
A side note, I'm back in chastity as of 2 days ago.
Indulge
We've been trying to figure out my hair for awhile now with my extensions after I cut my long hair off. I wanted to do the alt girl look with a shaved side of the head. And I love the look we got with it.
The makeup, we tried something new and again it came out perfect. I think this is going to be my new look for awhile.
The dress of the night, is a stretchy blue dress that is Tangent's. I've lost so much weight over the past 7 months I fit into smaller sizes and it's terrific. I've lost about 25 pounds since December 2013 and my feminine figure shows tenfold now.
A side note, I'm back in chastity as of 2 days ago.
Indulge
Friday, May 2, 2014
Forced Sissy Blowjob to Completion
A night of Humiliation, Degradation, Shame, Embarrassment...
(To Clarify as some have asked. Daddy is a She, She is my owner. The 2 of us have adopted the roles of She is the Daddy and I am Her girl. So throughout my posts you may see me refer to Her as She and as Daddy)
While at work I got a phone call that once I got home I was going to be all dolled up for Daddy (Wednesday night).
She had gone out and gotten me a brand new wig (sometimes I put in hair extensions), got me some new breast forms among other things. She also brought back some of my things that I still had in my NYC apartment when she was in NYC last week. Some of those things included my pink sissy dress, so I decided to wear that. I thought the night was going to be just me and her, like it usually is but after I was all ready; makeup, hair, lingerie, high heels, locking wrist cuffs, locking heel cuffs, my collar and locked in my dress I was told that our guest would be here soon.
I was told to pull a chair into the bedroom and put it in the corner and face it towards the bed, then to sit down. I was tied with my hands behind the back of the chair and my feet in high heels bound together and then my legs bound back to the chair. The doorbell rang and out She went to answer the door. I was in the room for about 15-20 minutes by myself.
In She walked with a submissive behind Her on a collar and leash. She strapped on "Pink Princess" about a 5 inch pink dildo into her harness.
All the while just sitting there knowing what She was going to make me do that night my heart was racing. I had a bit of anxiety and lots of nervousness but I didn't want that to show. As I calmed myself down a bit I began to get aroused in my cage. BTW today marks day 48 in chastity.
The submissive was bent over a bench about 10 feet in front me and Daddy asked me how long it's been since She's fucked me. I said, "Over 50 days" Then She began telling the submissive that he better take her cock good otherwise the sissy (me) wasn't going to give him a blow job at the end.
That's when my stomach sank a bit and more nerves crept in. It's been drilled into my head that this day would come and that I HAVE TO DO A GOOD JOB otherwise I don't get to cum on day 66.
Then She stuck her cock into the submissive bound to the bench. She began slow as he doesn't take large cocks and I began to get jealous. Wanting Her to be fucking me. I know that She loves to fuck me and that this was torment. I was rocking a bit in my chair wishing it was me, but with a bigger dick, or Her feeldoe. She then put on a smaller dick that She could fuck him harder with. She would glance at me with these looks oh "don't you wish this was you?"
Smaller dick on, She started to fuck him hard, he was moaning and I was begging silently. About 10 minutes later She stopped walked over to me and untied me. Told me to walk next to the submissive who was on his belling/all 4's on the bench and for me to lay down and put my head between his legs where his cock and balls hung over my face.
Let me tell you, the fear that was in me in that moment. But I was there to impress Daddy. Then She got close and put Her dick in his ass and I was told to suck on his balls while she pounded him in the ass. He was clean shaven so that was nice. I opened up my mouth and sucked on his balls. His cock started to drip cum on my forehead and into my hair and eye. I kind of felt like moaning but I didn't, I stayed to course.
Daddy stopped, backed up and told the submissive to sit up and me get on my knees. She handcuffed his hands behind his back and stood over me from the side and ordered me to start sucking. I could hear Her in the background saying things like, "Is she doing a good job?" Let her know if she needs to change anything" "Teach her, because she has to learn how to suck cock for me" etc. I focused on Her voice and tried to suck his cock the way I suck Daddy's cock regularly.
There I was on my knees, head bobbing up and down and this man's cock. He had a rather big dick, maybe 8 inches and thick. He was already dripping when I put my lips on it. It helped me to keep my eyes closed most of the time. If I started to gag a bit I'd pull my head off of his cock and keep stroking with my hand. I felt like I was doing a good job and every time Daddy asked the submissive if I was doing a good job he would reply with, "Yes, she's a good sissy". But at the same time I wasn't really sure if I was doing a good job. I lost track of time and started to think should he have cum already? I hope Daddy doesn't punish me for doing a bad job.
But then, I hear the submissive saying I'm going to cum and with his cock in the back of my throat he spurts a big load in my mouth. Maybe 2-3 shots and I swallow immediately just as I started to gag a little bit and was getting a bit grossed out at the same time. When I shut my eyes it helps me not be grossed out by the act of what I'm doing. I pulled his cock out of my mouth and kept stroking it as he shot another load onto my face and in my eyes. Only a few drops fell on the bench and Daddy told me to lick it up, so I did.
I was left on my knees and he was escorted out of the bedroom and soon after left.
Daddy came back in the room and didn't say much at first. Maybe 10 minutes later I was on the bathroom floor and She asked me what I thought of him. I said, he seemed nice enough but I don't know what I'm supposed to think about him because I didn't talk with him any.
She replies, "Good, you're going to be seeing more of him". I literally just couldn't say anything, I didn't like the idea of that and still don't. The only aspect of that idea that I enjoy is that I'm doing it for Her. In the next hour or so I began to get a little sad. I had just done something I had never done and it was something very extreme. It's allowing myself to be that vulnerable, that controlled, that owned and it wasn't easy at all for me to do.
After a little while She brought me back to "normal" I guess you could say. One thing most people don't know is that Daddy has what we refer to as a "darkside". Meaning, She knows how to and sometimes will break me. She's done it before and as we went to bed that night I knew I was a little broken. I love parts of Her darkside, as does She. But it's something we are both learning to operate within. Me and Her are great together because our interests are both all over the map and we both push each other. In the midst of pushing each other we find each others boundaries and not all play is cupcakes and candy. Lots of our play is hardcore, envelope pushing that in reality arouses the both of us to extremes.
Day 65, aka May 19th has been labeled "Day of Hell". I already know I'm going to be put through the ringer to earn Day 66, my release date from chastity and no anal. Truth is, I have no idea what She has in store. Truth is I'm scared shitless, truth is I'm aroused by all of that and I know She is as well. Something tells me She's going to break me and make me keep going and push through for Her.
And I will push through for Her.
Here are 4 pics.
1) Me on all fours over Daddy in my new black crotchless panties and in chastity of course.
2) Me dolled up from Wednesday sucking Daddy's cock.
3) Picture of the bows She tied on the back of my dress (Wednesday night)
4) Photo of me right before all the action (Wednesday night)
You can read my Owner's blog at Mistress Tangent
(To Clarify as some have asked. Daddy is a She, She is my owner. The 2 of us have adopted the roles of She is the Daddy and I am Her girl. So throughout my posts you may see me refer to Her as She and as Daddy)
While at work I got a phone call that once I got home I was going to be all dolled up for Daddy (Wednesday night).
She had gone out and gotten me a brand new wig (sometimes I put in hair extensions), got me some new breast forms among other things. She also brought back some of my things that I still had in my NYC apartment when she was in NYC last week. Some of those things included my pink sissy dress, so I decided to wear that. I thought the night was going to be just me and her, like it usually is but after I was all ready; makeup, hair, lingerie, high heels, locking wrist cuffs, locking heel cuffs, my collar and locked in my dress I was told that our guest would be here soon.
I was told to pull a chair into the bedroom and put it in the corner and face it towards the bed, then to sit down. I was tied with my hands behind the back of the chair and my feet in high heels bound together and then my legs bound back to the chair. The doorbell rang and out She went to answer the door. I was in the room for about 15-20 minutes by myself.
In She walked with a submissive behind Her on a collar and leash. She strapped on "Pink Princess" about a 5 inch pink dildo into her harness.
All the while just sitting there knowing what She was going to make me do that night my heart was racing. I had a bit of anxiety and lots of nervousness but I didn't want that to show. As I calmed myself down a bit I began to get aroused in my cage. BTW today marks day 48 in chastity.
The submissive was bent over a bench about 10 feet in front me and Daddy asked me how long it's been since She's fucked me. I said, "Over 50 days" Then She began telling the submissive that he better take her cock good otherwise the sissy (me) wasn't going to give him a blow job at the end.
That's when my stomach sank a bit and more nerves crept in. It's been drilled into my head that this day would come and that I HAVE TO DO A GOOD JOB otherwise I don't get to cum on day 66.
Then She stuck her cock into the submissive bound to the bench. She began slow as he doesn't take large cocks and I began to get jealous. Wanting Her to be fucking me. I know that She loves to fuck me and that this was torment. I was rocking a bit in my chair wishing it was me, but with a bigger dick, or Her feeldoe. She then put on a smaller dick that She could fuck him harder with. She would glance at me with these looks oh "don't you wish this was you?"
Smaller dick on, She started to fuck him hard, he was moaning and I was begging silently. About 10 minutes later She stopped walked over to me and untied me. Told me to walk next to the submissive who was on his belling/all 4's on the bench and for me to lay down and put my head between his legs where his cock and balls hung over my face.
Let me tell you, the fear that was in me in that moment. But I was there to impress Daddy. Then She got close and put Her dick in his ass and I was told to suck on his balls while she pounded him in the ass. He was clean shaven so that was nice. I opened up my mouth and sucked on his balls. His cock started to drip cum on my forehead and into my hair and eye. I kind of felt like moaning but I didn't, I stayed to course.
Daddy stopped, backed up and told the submissive to sit up and me get on my knees. She handcuffed his hands behind his back and stood over me from the side and ordered me to start sucking. I could hear Her in the background saying things like, "Is she doing a good job?" Let her know if she needs to change anything" "Teach her, because she has to learn how to suck cock for me" etc. I focused on Her voice and tried to suck his cock the way I suck Daddy's cock regularly.
There I was on my knees, head bobbing up and down and this man's cock. He had a rather big dick, maybe 8 inches and thick. He was already dripping when I put my lips on it. It helped me to keep my eyes closed most of the time. If I started to gag a bit I'd pull my head off of his cock and keep stroking with my hand. I felt like I was doing a good job and every time Daddy asked the submissive if I was doing a good job he would reply with, "Yes, she's a good sissy". But at the same time I wasn't really sure if I was doing a good job. I lost track of time and started to think should he have cum already? I hope Daddy doesn't punish me for doing a bad job.
But then, I hear the submissive saying I'm going to cum and with his cock in the back of my throat he spurts a big load in my mouth. Maybe 2-3 shots and I swallow immediately just as I started to gag a little bit and was getting a bit grossed out at the same time. When I shut my eyes it helps me not be grossed out by the act of what I'm doing. I pulled his cock out of my mouth and kept stroking it as he shot another load onto my face and in my eyes. Only a few drops fell on the bench and Daddy told me to lick it up, so I did.
I was left on my knees and he was escorted out of the bedroom and soon after left.
Daddy came back in the room and didn't say much at first. Maybe 10 minutes later I was on the bathroom floor and She asked me what I thought of him. I said, he seemed nice enough but I don't know what I'm supposed to think about him because I didn't talk with him any.
She replies, "Good, you're going to be seeing more of him". I literally just couldn't say anything, I didn't like the idea of that and still don't. The only aspect of that idea that I enjoy is that I'm doing it for Her. In the next hour or so I began to get a little sad. I had just done something I had never done and it was something very extreme. It's allowing myself to be that vulnerable, that controlled, that owned and it wasn't easy at all for me to do.
After a little while She brought me back to "normal" I guess you could say. One thing most people don't know is that Daddy has what we refer to as a "darkside". Meaning, She knows how to and sometimes will break me. She's done it before and as we went to bed that night I knew I was a little broken. I love parts of Her darkside, as does She. But it's something we are both learning to operate within. Me and Her are great together because our interests are both all over the map and we both push each other. In the midst of pushing each other we find each others boundaries and not all play is cupcakes and candy. Lots of our play is hardcore, envelope pushing that in reality arouses the both of us to extremes.
Day 65, aka May 19th has been labeled "Day of Hell". I already know I'm going to be put through the ringer to earn Day 66, my release date from chastity and no anal. Truth is, I have no idea what She has in store. Truth is I'm scared shitless, truth is I'm aroused by all of that and I know She is as well. Something tells me She's going to break me and make me keep going and push through for Her.
And I will push through for Her.
Here are 4 pics.
1) Me on all fours over Daddy in my new black crotchless panties and in chastity of course.
2) Me dolled up from Wednesday sucking Daddy's cock.
3) Picture of the bows She tied on the back of my dress (Wednesday night)
4) Photo of me right before all the action (Wednesday night)
You can read my Owner's blog at Mistress Tangent
Saturday, April 12, 2014
It's Go Time - You're My Cuck Tonight
"It's Go time!!!!
Hurry up, grab the red bag, the bondage cuffs and make sure to wear cute panties.
Bring my strap-on and hurry up, it's Go time!!!"
That's the call I got on Sunday night after Miss aka my Daddy aka my owner was out at a BBQ and it was finally time. I was going to be her cuckold. For me it was a moment of excitement and nervousness. I started grabbing all of the necessary items as She requested and I got another phone call from Her saying to hurry up.
I arrived at the house where she was with him. I made sure I looked good that night, even though I knew what was about to happen there is still a sense of pride in me. I walked to the door, he had his shirt off already and was grabbing on her. A few knots in my stomach but overall it was a rather comfortable setting. We gathered in the kitchen and had a few drinks together to talk and get to know each other a little bit and to be honest, probably relax us all a bit. This was a first time for all of us.
When I saw them caress each other even standing I got knots in my stomach but I knew my place. We had to make a quick run to the store and Miss suggested that we all go. I was the driver, Miss slid in the back sear and for some reason I naturally thought he would get in the seat next to me up front but he got in the back seat with her. Of course, that made sense but for some reason it didn't cross my mind in the moment. We all chatted a bit, I was asked to turn up the music a bit and they made out. It was a very weird feeling for me. I was like nooooo but again I knew my place and I understood what was going on. I just drove and listened while at the same time could feel Miss's touch on my arm here and there.
We get back to the house, go into the living room and they start making out. I'm instructed to strip down to my panties and just watch. A few minutes later we step outside I'm told to sit/lay on the outside furtniture. Miss lays on top of me and he gets on top of her for more foreplay for a few minutes. He grabbed a quick smoke and we made our way to his bedroom.
I'm immediately told to get on my knees in the corner and it starts. He undresses her more, he gets undress and he even starts to ask me questions in a teasing way.
"You like it on your knees sissy?" - Yes.
"Oh, She feels so good, do you like watching me please your Miss?" Yes, please, please Her!
Foreplay continued and suddenly all I wanted was for him to please Her. Seriously, deep inside of me I wanted to see my Owner be pleased by another man. Me-on my knees, Her sissy just watching and yearning to see Her truly pleased. I was getting such a high, such a pleasure from all of this.
I could see the pleasure Miss was receiving from Her control, Her dominance, my submission and our bond. It was ecstasy!!!!!
The next time I'm sure will be sooner than later and it's something I'm looking forward to. It's something I'm not fearing because it was something we enjoyed together. That level of trust in each other, the attention to detail Miss gave me throughout by slight rubs on my arm, telling me to get closer, ordering me to show him how a sissy really sucks Her dick (strap-on), to having me get closer for a better view. There was a point where I got on all fours with my head down on the floor as I had gone into such a great sub space. I was Her slave to be done with as She pleased.
-----
Right now I write this 12 days after that night. Daddy is in California for the weekend working and I'm yearning for Daddy. Daddy is a name She has taken on, I'm her girl and She is my Daddy. And truth be it Daddy has a high level of masculine tendencies and I have a high level of feminine tendencies. We compliment each other very well in my facets and our BDSM side of our relationship is a part of our everyday, we are lifestyle. But more and more I'm becoming more comfortable with being Daddy's slave as well as Her girl. I can't explain the feeling it gives me inside and I can't explain how I need to please Daddy. It just is a part of me and it's a part of us.
On top of all this today is the 27th straight day in chastity. The previous longest I had ever gone is 13 days. Daddy told me I don't get out until day 66. Day 66!!!!! And I'm not allowed ANY anal of any kind until day 66.
As much as that # ran through my head for days I love that I'm challenged and I love that I'm able to please Daddy in the process. More to come on this and the life of Mistress Tangent (Daddy) and Autoeroticboy (girl) soon.
Below are pictures of the bruises I had on both of my thighs during the cuckold scene from a punishment and the chastity I was in during the scene and what I'm still in as I write this, 27 days in. The photo is from my last orgasm, I cam while in my CB from the hitachi.... 1st time EVER!
BTW.... I have not had an orgasm from a jacking off motion and or sex of any kind since February 1st. That's right, over 2 months ago.
That is devotion to my Owner.
Hurry up, grab the red bag, the bondage cuffs and make sure to wear cute panties.
Bring my strap-on and hurry up, it's Go time!!!"
That's the call I got on Sunday night after Miss aka my Daddy aka my owner was out at a BBQ and it was finally time. I was going to be her cuckold. For me it was a moment of excitement and nervousness. I started grabbing all of the necessary items as She requested and I got another phone call from Her saying to hurry up.
I arrived at the house where she was with him. I made sure I looked good that night, even though I knew what was about to happen there is still a sense of pride in me. I walked to the door, he had his shirt off already and was grabbing on her. A few knots in my stomach but overall it was a rather comfortable setting. We gathered in the kitchen and had a few drinks together to talk and get to know each other a little bit and to be honest, probably relax us all a bit. This was a first time for all of us.
When I saw them caress each other even standing I got knots in my stomach but I knew my place. We had to make a quick run to the store and Miss suggested that we all go. I was the driver, Miss slid in the back sear and for some reason I naturally thought he would get in the seat next to me up front but he got in the back seat with her. Of course, that made sense but for some reason it didn't cross my mind in the moment. We all chatted a bit, I was asked to turn up the music a bit and they made out. It was a very weird feeling for me. I was like nooooo but again I knew my place and I understood what was going on. I just drove and listened while at the same time could feel Miss's touch on my arm here and there.
We get back to the house, go into the living room and they start making out. I'm instructed to strip down to my panties and just watch. A few minutes later we step outside I'm told to sit/lay on the outside furtniture. Miss lays on top of me and he gets on top of her for more foreplay for a few minutes. He grabbed a quick smoke and we made our way to his bedroom.
I'm immediately told to get on my knees in the corner and it starts. He undresses her more, he gets undress and he even starts to ask me questions in a teasing way.
"You like it on your knees sissy?" - Yes.
"Oh, She feels so good, do you like watching me please your Miss?" Yes, please, please Her!
Foreplay continued and suddenly all I wanted was for him to please Her. Seriously, deep inside of me I wanted to see my Owner be pleased by another man. Me-on my knees, Her sissy just watching and yearning to see Her truly pleased. I was getting such a high, such a pleasure from all of this.
I could see the pleasure Miss was receiving from Her control, Her dominance, my submission and our bond. It was ecstasy!!!!!
The next time I'm sure will be sooner than later and it's something I'm looking forward to. It's something I'm not fearing because it was something we enjoyed together. That level of trust in each other, the attention to detail Miss gave me throughout by slight rubs on my arm, telling me to get closer, ordering me to show him how a sissy really sucks Her dick (strap-on), to having me get closer for a better view. There was a point where I got on all fours with my head down on the floor as I had gone into such a great sub space. I was Her slave to be done with as She pleased.
-----
Right now I write this 12 days after that night. Daddy is in California for the weekend working and I'm yearning for Daddy. Daddy is a name She has taken on, I'm her girl and She is my Daddy. And truth be it Daddy has a high level of masculine tendencies and I have a high level of feminine tendencies. We compliment each other very well in my facets and our BDSM side of our relationship is a part of our everyday, we are lifestyle. But more and more I'm becoming more comfortable with being Daddy's slave as well as Her girl. I can't explain the feeling it gives me inside and I can't explain how I need to please Daddy. It just is a part of me and it's a part of us.
On top of all this today is the 27th straight day in chastity. The previous longest I had ever gone is 13 days. Daddy told me I don't get out until day 66. Day 66!!!!! And I'm not allowed ANY anal of any kind until day 66.
As much as that # ran through my head for days I love that I'm challenged and I love that I'm able to please Daddy in the process. More to come on this and the life of Mistress Tangent (Daddy) and Autoeroticboy (girl) soon.
Below are pictures of the bruises I had on both of my thighs during the cuckold scene from a punishment and the chastity I was in during the scene and what I'm still in as I write this, 27 days in. The photo is from my last orgasm, I cam while in my CB from the hitachi.... 1st time EVER!
BTW.... I have not had an orgasm from a jacking off motion and or sex of any kind since February 1st. That's right, over 2 months ago.
That is devotion to my Owner.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Mistress Tangent
I want to share a website / blog with all of you to check out.
Mistress Tangent is a really good friend of mine. She's a Femdom from Phoenix but travels all over and she recently (as of a couple months ago) started a website and also has a diary/blog similar to mine on her website.
For all of you kinksters out there that love to worship a beautiful and truly kinky dominant woman I highly suggest you taking a look at her site - MistressTangent
I've been in the BDSM world for 10 years now and there are a lot of beautiful women but some of them aren't as kinky as they put off. Mistress Tangent is a kinky as she puts off if not kinkier and so I have to show love and support here on my blog.
Mistress Tangent is a really good friend of mine. She's a Femdom from Phoenix but travels all over and she recently (as of a couple months ago) started a website and also has a diary/blog similar to mine on her website.
For all of you kinksters out there that love to worship a beautiful and truly kinky dominant woman I highly suggest you taking a look at her site - MistressTangent
I've been in the BDSM world for 10 years now and there are a lot of beautiful women but some of them aren't as kinky as they put off. Mistress Tangent is a kinky as she puts off if not kinkier and so I have to show love and support here on my blog.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Domcon LA 2013: All Set
I'm all set up for Domcon LA 2013.
I'm really excited for this event for numerous reasons. It's the first large fetish event I've attended in some years now. My kinky college friend "Bobcat" whom I've spoken of many times throughout my blog graduates a few days prior and is attending the event with me. I'm also excited because this will be my first time in L.A. not to mention my first time in California.
To top things off I'll be able to see some kinky friends I haven't seen in awhile from around the country.
I've been in Scottsdale Arizona for 7 months now and I only left the state once when I went to Vegas with my team from work. We did party but we literally drove to Vegas early in the morning, partied and then drove home early the next morning. It was more exhausting than anything plus I got motion sickness on the way home after all that drinking and we had to pull over into some way off the strip casino so I could puke.... ha!
So Domcon L.A.
I'm driving in from Arizona and will be arriving Wednesday, May 8th.
I'm sure I'll be doing some modeling here and there but I'm also just looking forward to having fun. I bought a dress from Westward Bound and it should be arriving at my house by the end of this month (March). Take a look...
The only thing I changed is that instead of transparent latex I did white latex on top and in the trim and kept the mint green. Unfortunately, I don't have large breasts and so this dress wouldn't look right on me with transparent latex. Hopefully, all fits well and I'll be able to wear this at the event.
I want to buy some more latex before Domcon but I have to wait on this dress to arrive first to make sure that all fits right. I plan to be all "femmed up" for a lot of the event but I'm also looking forward to doing some really kinky things with some of the best Dommes and kinky people around.
Just a few minutes ago I bought Hair Extensions from Luxy. Here is the link to what I bought. These showcase 160grams but I got the 120grams as it's better for thin/fine hair.
http://www.luxyhair.com/collections/luxurious-120g/products/chocolate-brown-4-120g
This is the first time I've ever bought or will be wearing hair extensions. They are clip-ins but Luxy is known for their great products. My current hair is shoulder length and a medium brown tone so this set should be perfect.
I'll make sure to take lots of pictures and share with everyone. May is going to be a busy month for me in general as the weekend after Domcon I'm driving to Vegas to meet some of my Chicago friends and party.
I'm going to wrap things up as my Macbook battery is really low, but I got these 5 inch slutty pumps from Iron Fist that I wanted to show. They will actually go well with the dress but they are more for modeling purposes and or short periods of wear. None-the-less I had to have them.
If you see me at Domcon say hello.
I'm really excited for this event for numerous reasons. It's the first large fetish event I've attended in some years now. My kinky college friend "Bobcat" whom I've spoken of many times throughout my blog graduates a few days prior and is attending the event with me. I'm also excited because this will be my first time in L.A. not to mention my first time in California.
To top things off I'll be able to see some kinky friends I haven't seen in awhile from around the country.
I've been in Scottsdale Arizona for 7 months now and I only left the state once when I went to Vegas with my team from work. We did party but we literally drove to Vegas early in the morning, partied and then drove home early the next morning. It was more exhausting than anything plus I got motion sickness on the way home after all that drinking and we had to pull over into some way off the strip casino so I could puke.... ha!
So Domcon L.A.
I'm driving in from Arizona and will be arriving Wednesday, May 8th.
I'm sure I'll be doing some modeling here and there but I'm also just looking forward to having fun. I bought a dress from Westward Bound and it should be arriving at my house by the end of this month (March). Take a look...
The only thing I changed is that instead of transparent latex I did white latex on top and in the trim and kept the mint green. Unfortunately, I don't have large breasts and so this dress wouldn't look right on me with transparent latex. Hopefully, all fits well and I'll be able to wear this at the event.
I want to buy some more latex before Domcon but I have to wait on this dress to arrive first to make sure that all fits right. I plan to be all "femmed up" for a lot of the event but I'm also looking forward to doing some really kinky things with some of the best Dommes and kinky people around.
Just a few minutes ago I bought Hair Extensions from Luxy. Here is the link to what I bought. These showcase 160grams but I got the 120grams as it's better for thin/fine hair.
http://www.luxyhair.com/collections/luxurious-120g/products/chocolate-brown-4-120g
This is the first time I've ever bought or will be wearing hair extensions. They are clip-ins but Luxy is known for their great products. My current hair is shoulder length and a medium brown tone so this set should be perfect.
I'll make sure to take lots of pictures and share with everyone. May is going to be a busy month for me in general as the weekend after Domcon I'm driving to Vegas to meet some of my Chicago friends and party.
I'm going to wrap things up as my Macbook battery is really low, but I got these 5 inch slutty pumps from Iron Fist that I wanted to show. They will actually go well with the dress but they are more for modeling purposes and or short periods of wear. None-the-less I had to have them.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
XXY Klinefelters & Kink
It was February 7, 2012 - 3 weeks ago from today that I got a blood test to see if I was born with Klinefelter's Syndrom, XXY.
My entire life I've felt that my body was a bit different than most boys. I remember a specific instance playing basketball and a teammate ran by me on the court after I made a shot and he slapped my ass. Then he said, damn dude! You got a chick's ass. At that very moment it was kind of funny yet embarrassing because I knew that I did have a feminine butt. Then when I started getting more involved with kink at 18 and 19 and playing with different women they would always comment on how feminine my body was. Lots of people are in shock at how non-masculine my butt is. I've come to love my body, my butt etc. I've always liked my body but knew it was different. Last Thursday I shot with Jessica Temptress for the first time. As I was walking off the set in high heeled boots and a mini skirt showing off my ass she shouts, "You have the best ass I've ever seen on a guy!". My ass and body definitely comes in handy when I'm in woman mode, that's for sure!
So, I got tested on the 7th and they took 2 valves of blood. Although, the lady mentioned they only need 1. About a week later the doctor calls me and says, I got one of your blood valves back but there is no paperwork with it which is odd. He's like I'm not sure what this means except that you might not be XXY. He says, he'll get back to me. About 5 days later the doctor calls me again and says, never mind what I told you before, they didn't run that valve of blood. He then tells me he got the tested valve back with paperwork and that I WAS born with Klinefelter's - XXY.
So what does that all mean?
Some doctors argue if that technically means you were born intersexed but more doctors say it does mean that. I feel as if I am intersexed because I have more female physical traits than I do masculine. I am at risk for some female health risks that men aren't like osteoporosis and breast cancer and yet I have some male traits like a deeper voice, cock and balls, and I've lived my life as a male for 25 years now.
I actually responded differently that I thought I would when I got the results. I've thought I've been born XXY for about 4 years now but I wasn't 100% sure. Now that I know I am it's a bit strange to know that you weren't born 100% male or 100% female. The question that comes to mind at first is, what am I?
After coming back down to earth, and asking myself that question the answer is, I am me. I am happy with myself, always have been. I'm able to transcend gender boundaries when ever I want to. I'm able to fit into both gender roles when ever I want to. In a strange way I'm more well rounded. I tend to see things differently than many people and if I must say so myself, I'm one pretty good looking man and one fucking sexy girl! The best of both worlds as it stands.
I meet with some doctors March 7th to talk more about Klinefelter's and what I want to do from here. Some people choose to take testosterone to boost their energy, muscle growth, body hair, facial hair, and for some orgasmic purposes. Some, although many fewer choose to live as a woman and take estrogen, and get a sex change. Some choose neither option and don't take any medication and live the way they are. Right now, I'm the 3rd option. I know that I don't want to take testosterone but I've considered estrogen and a sex change. Right now, it's just remaining with who I am.
I'm not 100% about this but I've read a bit that there is a public fund for those born intersexed and wanting to get a sex change. I have to do more research....
I've gone to a group setting gender identity (Trans Group) here at Ohio University the past 2 weeks. It's been good. The first week I just listened to everyone else talk and here their stories. Last week I shared my new XXY news and we all discussed it. It is nice to just talk with others of all ages and backgrounds who can relate in some manner. I am the only one in the group who is XXY but there are MtF, FtM, Gender Queers and more in the group so it's been good to meet some others in the Athens, area.
I'll keep everyone updated on the XXY thing, especially after meeting with doctors March 7th. 1 out of every 500 males (approximate) are born with Klinefelter's. It's common yet still very un-common and unknown to most the public. This is what it has done to me physically:
1. Long arms and legs
2. Little to no body hair
3. Little to no facial hair
4. Soft (feminine) skin
5. No frontal balding
6. Small hands for height
7. Small feet for heights (For me I'm 6'3 tall & wear a size 9-10 in mens & 10-11 in women's)
8. Weight distribution of a woman (Hips, butt, thighs, stomach)
9. Wider hips
10. Small testicles
11. Low testosterone (I had it tested)
Other Things: (This is personal to me)
1. I took speech classes as a kid for about 5 years in pre-school through early Elementary. (This is a sign)
2. When I began to masturbate (age 7-ish) I began like a woman. Not using my cock but rubbing of pelvic bone area. I can still do this today.
3. At puberty testosterone kicked in a bit but I plateaued at about 15,16 and never matured into what a boy would be.
Health:
1. Very low chance I am fertile. (Probably can't have kids) I'm talking to doctors on this more
2. Higher chance for Osteoporosis (Like a woman)
3. Higher chance of Breast Cancer (Like a woman)
4. Earlier tooth decay
----------------------------------------------
In some other news:
The first 2 are custom videos I made for a client.
I shot with Jessica Temptress as I mentioned above. She's out of Columbus and was fun to work with. She brought a good array of things to the shoot and we got some great stuff. We shot a kidnapping scene starting with me in the trunk of a car. Then into the woods for some beating, trampling, and strap-on. Eventually I was fucked on the car as well and then left half naked and feminized in the woods.
Then in our next shoot I was a high paid, big-headed actor who was playing a female role in a movie. The director and I got into an argument over nudity and she takes advantage of me. Strap-on in several positions, barehand spankings, slapping and more. Plus, upside down cuming due to all the humiliation.
---
I was in Chicago for an interview and then shot with a long time friend that goes all the way back to my early Miss Jaded days. So it was fun to shoot with her - Alexandra Sadista as well as Natalya Sadici It was actually my first time meeting Natalya even though we've known of each other for awhile. Unfortunately, we didn't shoot quite as much as we wanted due to time restraints however, we were productive and it was fun.
I was feminized in lingerie and then forcefully had red lipstick applied to my lips. I was put into bondage and orally trained by a 9 inch - thick dildo. I was made to kiss it, lick it, and suck it. Then I was forced to deep throat it ALL THE WAY DOWN - Upside down. It was difficult but as we all know, I enjoy being a good slut!
All these videos will be on AEB KINK - My Clips4sale Store soon.
Then on Monday I drove back home to Athens, Ohio. But, to make things more fun and of course to save time :) when I first stopped for gas in northern Indiana I took one of my thick & crinkly ABUniverse diapers into the bathroom stall with me. I put it on nice and tight and wet it as I ordered Arby's. I had another 6 hours of driving to do and wet it 2 more times by the time I arrived home. It was nice - "warm" trip.
My entire life I've felt that my body was a bit different than most boys. I remember a specific instance playing basketball and a teammate ran by me on the court after I made a shot and he slapped my ass. Then he said, damn dude! You got a chick's ass. At that very moment it was kind of funny yet embarrassing because I knew that I did have a feminine butt. Then when I started getting more involved with kink at 18 and 19 and playing with different women they would always comment on how feminine my body was. Lots of people are in shock at how non-masculine my butt is. I've come to love my body, my butt etc. I've always liked my body but knew it was different. Last Thursday I shot with Jessica Temptress for the first time. As I was walking off the set in high heeled boots and a mini skirt showing off my ass she shouts, "You have the best ass I've ever seen on a guy!". My ass and body definitely comes in handy when I'm in woman mode, that's for sure!
So, I got tested on the 7th and they took 2 valves of blood. Although, the lady mentioned they only need 1. About a week later the doctor calls me and says, I got one of your blood valves back but there is no paperwork with it which is odd. He's like I'm not sure what this means except that you might not be XXY. He says, he'll get back to me. About 5 days later the doctor calls me again and says, never mind what I told you before, they didn't run that valve of blood. He then tells me he got the tested valve back with paperwork and that I WAS born with Klinefelter's - XXY.
So what does that all mean?
Some doctors argue if that technically means you were born intersexed but more doctors say it does mean that. I feel as if I am intersexed because I have more female physical traits than I do masculine. I am at risk for some female health risks that men aren't like osteoporosis and breast cancer and yet I have some male traits like a deeper voice, cock and balls, and I've lived my life as a male for 25 years now.
I actually responded differently that I thought I would when I got the results. I've thought I've been born XXY for about 4 years now but I wasn't 100% sure. Now that I know I am it's a bit strange to know that you weren't born 100% male or 100% female. The question that comes to mind at first is, what am I?
After coming back down to earth, and asking myself that question the answer is, I am me. I am happy with myself, always have been. I'm able to transcend gender boundaries when ever I want to. I'm able to fit into both gender roles when ever I want to. In a strange way I'm more well rounded. I tend to see things differently than many people and if I must say so myself, I'm one pretty good looking man and one fucking sexy girl! The best of both worlds as it stands.
I meet with some doctors March 7th to talk more about Klinefelter's and what I want to do from here. Some people choose to take testosterone to boost their energy, muscle growth, body hair, facial hair, and for some orgasmic purposes. Some, although many fewer choose to live as a woman and take estrogen, and get a sex change. Some choose neither option and don't take any medication and live the way they are. Right now, I'm the 3rd option. I know that I don't want to take testosterone but I've considered estrogen and a sex change. Right now, it's just remaining with who I am.
I'm not 100% about this but I've read a bit that there is a public fund for those born intersexed and wanting to get a sex change. I have to do more research....
I've gone to a group setting gender identity (Trans Group) here at Ohio University the past 2 weeks. It's been good. The first week I just listened to everyone else talk and here their stories. Last week I shared my new XXY news and we all discussed it. It is nice to just talk with others of all ages and backgrounds who can relate in some manner. I am the only one in the group who is XXY but there are MtF, FtM, Gender Queers and more in the group so it's been good to meet some others in the Athens, area.
I'll keep everyone updated on the XXY thing, especially after meeting with doctors March 7th. 1 out of every 500 males (approximate) are born with Klinefelter's. It's common yet still very un-common and unknown to most the public. This is what it has done to me physically:
1. Long arms and legs
2. Little to no body hair
3. Little to no facial hair
4. Soft (feminine) skin
5. No frontal balding
6. Small hands for height
7. Small feet for heights (For me I'm 6'3 tall & wear a size 9-10 in mens & 10-11 in women's)
8. Weight distribution of a woman (Hips, butt, thighs, stomach)
9. Wider hips
10. Small testicles
11. Low testosterone (I had it tested)
Other Things: (This is personal to me)
1. I took speech classes as a kid for about 5 years in pre-school through early Elementary. (This is a sign)
2. When I began to masturbate (age 7-ish) I began like a woman. Not using my cock but rubbing of pelvic bone area. I can still do this today.
3. At puberty testosterone kicked in a bit but I plateaued at about 15,16 and never matured into what a boy would be.
Health:
1. Very low chance I am fertile. (Probably can't have kids) I'm talking to doctors on this more
2. Higher chance for Osteoporosis (Like a woman)
3. Higher chance of Breast Cancer (Like a woman)
4. Earlier tooth decay
----------------------------------------------
In some other news:
The first 2 are custom videos I made for a client.
I shot with Jessica Temptress as I mentioned above. She's out of Columbus and was fun to work with. She brought a good array of things to the shoot and we got some great stuff. We shot a kidnapping scene starting with me in the trunk of a car. Then into the woods for some beating, trampling, and strap-on. Eventually I was fucked on the car as well and then left half naked and feminized in the woods.
Then in our next shoot I was a high paid, big-headed actor who was playing a female role in a movie. The director and I got into an argument over nudity and she takes advantage of me. Strap-on in several positions, barehand spankings, slapping and more. Plus, upside down cuming due to all the humiliation.
---
I was in Chicago for an interview and then shot with a long time friend that goes all the way back to my early Miss Jaded days. So it was fun to shoot with her - Alexandra Sadista as well as Natalya Sadici It was actually my first time meeting Natalya even though we've known of each other for awhile. Unfortunately, we didn't shoot quite as much as we wanted due to time restraints however, we were productive and it was fun.
I was feminized in lingerie and then forcefully had red lipstick applied to my lips. I was put into bondage and orally trained by a 9 inch - thick dildo. I was made to kiss it, lick it, and suck it. Then I was forced to deep throat it ALL THE WAY DOWN - Upside down. It was difficult but as we all know, I enjoy being a good slut!
All these videos will be on AEB KINK - My Clips4sale Store soon.
Then on Monday I drove back home to Athens, Ohio. But, to make things more fun and of course to save time :) when I first stopped for gas in northern Indiana I took one of my thick & crinkly ABUniverse diapers into the bathroom stall with me. I put it on nice and tight and wet it as I ordered Arby's. I had another 6 hours of driving to do and wet it 2 more times by the time I arrived home. It was nice - "warm" trip.
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