Stripped & Naked

Stripped and naked.
Not physically but of my collar for further training.

Over all these years in kink and all the time I've been around lifestyle people and lived the lifestyle myself I've never been trained in high protocal. I've never been a "slave" the way Mistress Tangent desires me as a slave. The truth is, when I look inside myself I've never been a "slave" the way I've desired either. My own fears, anxiety, and pride has kept myself from letting go to the point where I can be a slave.

Not just for the name of being a slave and not just for a short period of time like a session but for good. To dedicate myself to someone forever.
This all came to over a period of time and with our most recent trip to San Diego where we spent some time around some high protocal friends and I failed to present myself and show that same level of respect for Mistress Tangent in particular situations.

I've decided to dedicate myself to the teachings and learnings of Mistress Tangent so that I will be the proper slave She deserves and our relationship will continue to blossum and grow into what we both desire. My level of trust, belief, and love in Her and Her geniune love of power exchange and BDSM has brought me to where I am today. Stripped, Naked, Collar-less to learn the real, proper ways of Femdom and to serve Her to the highest degree.

This stripping began just last night. The first hour of training and the foundation to us.
The 2 most difficult parts for the both of us was Her removing 2 privledges that were given to me. 1) She removed my collar and I am forbidden to wear anything even resembling a collar until I have earned it. 2) I am no longer allowed to call Her (Daddy) as I have been for a long time now. The only time this is allowed is when She is fucking me and when I earn my collar back. I cried over both these situations while in my high protocal slave position.

Mistress Tangent then taught me the basic rules of the 3 protocals (low, medium & high) and the rules along with them.

Low: Is when we are around family and friends and or public situations and I am to maintain a level of respect throughout. Further details will be revealed in our next training.

Medium: When we are at home and also at fetish parties/events.

High: When we are with others who live the D/s lifestyle and in some other situations that Mistress Tangent deems necessary. High protocal is also ALWAYS in place for punishments.

So far I've been taught a couple slave positions and protocals that follow the high protocal.

Attention: Standing with arms by side and hands open/facing out.
Listening: Standing or sitting in slave form with my hands open/together low near waist shows that I'm listening.
Question: Standing or sitting in slave form with my hands open/together but raised to my chest, waiting to be allowed to ask a question or to speak.

During high protocal I am not allowed to speak unless spoken to.
During high and medium protocal I am to address Her at all times properly. Because the word (Daddy) has been stripped from me until I'm allowed the privledge of using that word again I now must address her as Ma'am AT ALL TIMES when in Medium or High protocal.

Just over 1 day into training I can feel the positive tension. I am committed to being a slave that my Owner is proud of. I am committed to treating Her the way She deserves to be treated. I am committed to myself throughout this process and I am stripped and naked to be molded.

Additionally, I've been locked up in chastity for 42 straight days now and this time I'm locked up in the smallest possible Cb-6000 cage possible. The length is about 2 inches and I didn't think I could fit into it but the truth is this size fits me much better. I feel more frustration in this sized cage and with me being on HRT now since February it only makes sense. I am not allowed any orgasms until I've taken 10,000, that's right 10,000 canings from Mistress Tangent. 42 days in and I'm at a little over 1,000 canings.

I want to leave off on this note. 1 full day of proper protocal to my Owner has brought a new hightened sense of eroticism, arosal and tingles to my body. Both sexually and mentally stimulating. I'm very excited about Our journey down this road together.

Needles

For those of you keeping track, today is day 38 in chastity of 160.

I have had 2 orgasms while in the cage while being fucked along with the Hitachi. Both were magical orgasms with Her dick inside me. I know that I'm always being prepped to take chastity longer and longer. Learning to cum in chastity in one way is great for me and the other means that She can keep me locked up for longer periods of time.

One of the new rules implemented in this 160 days of chastity is needles. The CB-6000 can be a pain in the ass to clean. Every night by 9pm I must have my cage thoroughly cleaned and smelling like perfection. 1 needle if not cleaned and 1 needle if not smelling right.

Did I mention that I HATE needles!?!

In fact, other than my ears pierced, my Prince Albert and the taint piercing I used to have I've never done any other piercings and that includes play piercings. The first time I failed at this She stuck a couple 20 gauge needles through my ball sack. I was developing cold sweats and was scared to death. They really hurt but what was to come about a week later was much worse.

This time I was warned that She was using larger needles. 7 of them this time and by larger, she jumped up to 14 gauges. Sweating and yelling I was helpless as my body was tied down on the bed like an 'X'. Lying down and not being able to see helps me out at least a little bit.

Then I messed up again and I was due 4 needles over the next week or so. But then I decided to bet Daddy double or nothing regarding some stupid vacuum bet that I pretty much knew I had no chance or winning. Of course, I lost and now owned Her 8 needles.

This time I was caught off guard. We tried to do the 8 needles the 2 nights prior but life got in the way and we were too busy. If punishment is delayed longer than 3 days regarding the needles then I sleep on the floor next to the bed chained up. So that's where I slept, and that's not where I wanted to be sleeping. The 3rd night She got home late and I wasn't expecting Her to have the energy for the needles, but She did.

She caught me by surprise and pulled up a chair into the bathroom and told me to sit. Tied my legs wide open and my arms up and behind me. Bound tied with my cock pulled up to my collar so that She would have a good canvas to pierce me with. I started to get my cold sweats as I got more nervous. As She got closer to piercing me I would start to hyper-ventilate a little bit. I caught my breath, said ready and in goes 1 as I scream in pain.

I counted each one in my head knowing how many I had left. She took it slow due to my un-easy stomach making sure I was ready for the next needle every time but it just seemed to get more and more painful. The unexpectedness of the ordeal also through off my mindset and made it more difficult.

By the end, I was spent, exhausted, hurting and my legs wouldn't stop shaking.

I'm learning to keep my cage clean but I know that She also likes to catch me when She can. The sadist in Her comes out when given the opportunity. Besides that, I've recently been hearing Her say that She is going to push me past all of my, "original" hard limits. One by one as I'm molded into Her slave.

It's 8:30pm now. I have to run and clean my cage. Day 38 of chastity and I'm starting to throb in my cage a lot more continuously. Time to clean before I get more needles. Pics are below.

It's Go Time - You're My Cuck Tonight

"It's Go time!!!!
Hurry up, grab the red bag, the bondage cuffs and make sure to wear cute panties.
Bring my strap-on and hurry up, it's Go time!!!"

That's the call I got on Sunday night after Miss aka my Daddy aka my owner was out at a BBQ and it was finally time. I was going to be her cuckold. For me it was a moment of excitement and nervousness. I started grabbing all of the necessary items as She requested and I got another phone call from Her saying to hurry up.

I arrived at the house where she was with him. I made sure I looked good that night, even though I knew what was about to happen there is still a sense of pride in me. I walked to the door, he had his shirt off already and was grabbing on her. A few knots in my stomach but overall it was a rather comfortable setting. We gathered in the kitchen and had a few drinks together to talk and get to know each other a little bit and to be honest, probably relax us all a bit. This was a first time for all of us.

When I saw them caress each other even standing I got knots in my stomach but I knew my place. We had to make a quick run to the store and Miss suggested that we all go. I was the driver, Miss slid in the back sear and for some reason I naturally thought he would get in the seat next to me up front but he got in the back seat with her. Of course, that made sense but for some reason it didn't cross my mind in the moment. We all chatted a bit, I was asked to turn up the music a bit and they made out. It was a very weird feeling for me. I was like nooooo but again I knew my place and I understood what was going on. I just drove and listened while at the same time could feel Miss's touch on my arm here and there.

We get back to the house, go into the living room and they start making out. I'm instructed to strip down to my panties and just watch. A few minutes later we step outside I'm told to sit/lay on the outside furtniture. Miss lays on top of me and he gets on top of her for more foreplay for a few minutes. He grabbed a quick smoke and we made our way to his bedroom.

I'm immediately told to get on my knees in the corner and it starts. He undresses her more, he gets undress and he even starts to ask me questions in a teasing way.

"You like it on your knees sissy?" - Yes.
"Oh, She feels so good, do you like watching me please your Miss?" Yes, please, please Her!

Foreplay continued and suddenly all I wanted was for him to please Her. Seriously, deep inside of me I wanted to see my Owner be pleased by another man. Me-on my knees, Her sissy just watching and yearning to see Her truly pleased. I was getting such a high, such a pleasure from all of this.
I could see the pleasure Miss was receiving from Her control, Her dominance, my submission and our bond. It was ecstasy!!!!!

The next time I'm sure will be sooner than later and it's something I'm looking forward to. It's something I'm not fearing because it was something we enjoyed together. That level of trust in each other, the attention to detail Miss gave me throughout by slight rubs on my arm, telling me to get closer, ordering me to show him how a sissy really sucks Her dick (strap-on), to having me get closer for a better view. There was a point where I got on all fours with my head down on the floor as I had gone into such a great sub space. I was Her slave to be done with as She pleased.

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Right now I write this 12 days after that night. Daddy is in California for the weekend working and I'm yearning for Daddy. Daddy is a name She has taken on, I'm her girl and She is my Daddy. And truth be it Daddy has a high level of masculine tendencies and I have a high level of feminine tendencies. We compliment each other very well in my facets and our BDSM side of our relationship is a part of our everyday, we are lifestyle. But more and more I'm becoming more comfortable with being Daddy's slave as well as Her girl. I can't explain the feeling it gives me inside and I can't explain how I need to please Daddy. It just is a part of me and it's a part of us.

On top of all this today is the 27th straight day in chastity. The previous longest I had ever gone is 13 days. Daddy told me I don't get out until day 66. Day 66!!!!! And I'm not allowed ANY anal of any kind until day 66.

As much as that # ran through my head for days I love that I'm challenged and I love that I'm able to please Daddy in the process. More to come on this and the life of Mistress Tangent (Daddy) and Autoeroticboy (girl) soon.

Below are pictures of the bruises I had on both of my thighs during the cuckold scene from a punishment and the chastity I was in during the scene and what I'm still in as I write this, 27 days in. The photo is from my last orgasm, I cam while in my CB from the hitachi.... 1st time EVER!
BTW.... I have not had an orgasm from a jacking off motion and or sex of any kind since February 1st. That's right, over 2 months ago.

That is devotion to my Owner.

Call Me Slave

Yes, that's correct, call me slave.

I've been serving Mistress Tangent for 18 months now and I just recently made it public, at least in the kink world that I am Her slave. I've never been in my life and there was even a point where I told Miss that I could never be a slave because I was more of a sub/bottom/kinkster/fetishist etc. but not a slave. We laugh about that these days. At that time I really didn't think I could ever be a slave but we have evolved together and our foundation was built on trust from the get go.

Our views on BDSM have always been aligned rather well. We are both extremely well rounded when it comes to kink and we find ourselves indulging in scenarios that our new to the both of us frequently.

I've been around for some time now in the BDSM world. I'm 27 now and proudly, willingly and freely give myself to Her. I give all of myself to Her. On the flip side of the coin She holds me close, as Hers, as Her slave and proudly. That means the world to me. Our relationship is ever growing and evolving. It would be fair to say it's a complex relationship but that's also part of what makes it so great.

We are both strong minded people but we compliment each other very well in different ways.
We push one another. I take care of her; needs, wants, desires all included. She challenges me to be a better person and she also challenges my 'limits', to push past them. I love, absolutely love to push past 'limits' for Her. I get such great pleasure out of seeing Her get 'high' on that. I also push Her to be a better person and push Her as a Dominant to go to new heights and ultimately we encourage one another.

We're still figuring us out. Every D/s relationship is different.
Dominant and slave is a part of who we are to one-another. But what makes that part of us together so great is the bond we share.

 After caning from punishment - Miss Grabbing whats Her's

 Some late night rope bondage practice. Chest harness & twine face bondage

 Adjusting CB while in diaper in car right before sushi. (Not sure why my hair looks several colors)

 Random-fun pic.

 Another view after the punishment caning

 Bound position Miss had me in for the punishment so I couldn't squirm. Will be great for fucking too.

 After I had wisdom tooth pulled. Miss took care of me for few days, fun pic I sent Her as She bought baby food.

Shock collar literally bought for dog training. But it has it's dual purpose and this is us testing it out on my balls.

The Male Submissive

I've had active kinky profiles online since the age of 17. Yes, I was underage just like many of you were the first time you looked at porn and or flipped through a Playboy magazine. I've known I was kinky long before that but none-the-less, I've been active on kink based social networking sites for over 9 years now as I'll be 26 in early September. The social networking sites themselves have drastically improved over the years however there is one thing that always seems to remain constant.

The way male submissive's act online.

These male submissive's discuss their problems in finding a play partner and or a dominant to serve. They will complain about everything under the sun.

• Too many Pro-Dommes
• Nobody seems to be real
• Everyone wants something in exchange
• No one responds to me

The real problem is in that of the male submissive.

To start, when a male sub contacts someone they hope to serve they should write more than one line.

"Hey, you're beautiful. I'd love to worship your feet, that really turns me on" Just doesn't cut it.

Follow this Top 10 List:

1. Make sure you have correct spelling. 

2. Don't contact someone and tell them what you expect. 

3. Perhaps you should leave your name. 

4. It helps if you've filled out your own profile. 

5. Properly introduce yourself. 

6. Be polite 

7. Don't send a 2nd, 3rd, 4th and so on email within hours or days of not receiving a response. 

8. Don't contact a Pro Domme and then get mad when money is asked of you.

9. READ the profile of the person you're contacting.

10. Don't jerk off while contacting the person you're interested in

You would think that this would be common sense. Unfortunately for many, common sense goes out the door in the world of sex.

There are lots and lots of dominants and switches out there that are interested and seeking submissive males. However, sitting on your internet and not following proper writing etiquette nor showing a common courtesy to someone isn't going to get you very far.

There is a very large abundance of male subs who feel that they will never get an opportunity to serve a dominant. That the stories they read and the pictures they view will be the closest that they will ever get. 

I get a lot of emails on my Fetlife account from male submissive's of all ages in regards to these topics. Asking about how to get more involved. Telling me that I'm lucky and they wish that they could be me. I've been asked on how to send emails to dominants as well. I always respond as I try to assist those truly seeking out advice. I can be a fun-loving narcissist sometimes but for the large part I'm a humble person. I created my luck in kink. I wasn't born into the world of sexual exploration. I sought it out and with time I learned to accept myself but also study sexual alternatives.

Probably the most common question I get is: How did I get to be so involved?

Male submissives realize that it's not easy to be a male submissive and yet they assume that the world was given to me. To shorten up a long story here is my Timeline into BDSM.

- Age 17, I skipped a basketball game and saw a Pro Domme in Chicago. I paid $200 for the hour. I was extremely nervous but it was the best experience of my life.

- Age 18, In Ohio and saw a Pro Domme in the Cleveland area. Paid $300 for the hour.

- Age 18, moved back to Chicago after graduation & saw a Pro Domme I had been talking with online for 2 years now. She wouldn't see me till I turned 18. I paid $200 for the hour.

- Age 18, almost 19 I saw that same Pro Domme. This time I paid $100 cash & $100 in a giftcard that I had to Extreme Restraints.

- Age 19, Saw the same Pro Domme but we had worked out a 6 month slave training contract between us. I cleaned her dungeon twice a week in exchange for play. I only got play if I had done a good job.

- Age 19, Came out to my friends as being "Kinky" as they started to notice that I was hiding things from them.

- Age 19, Attended Fetishcon in Tampa Bay, Florida with 3 "vanilla" friends. Definitely didn't go as planned with my friends but in the long run was a good experience.

- Age 20, I was no longer serving the same Domme. I was upset that we broke it off but I was starting college. A few months later, although nervous I began attending Nawa Shibari Chicago by myself. A Rope bondage/Kink group.

- Age 20, Decided to put up pictures online about wanting to be a fetish model. I did this to get into the 21+ kinky clubs in Chicago. I also did it to meet more people and hopefully find someone to serve. Dvnt of Chicago who also ran Nawa Shibari Chicago contacted me about being in a live performance at a kinky club.

- Age 20, months later I began serving Miss Jaded who also helped run Nawa Shibari Chicago. Soon after I was attending 2-6 kinky functions in Chicago every month. 6 months later I began a personal relationship on top of a D/s relationship with Miss Jaded.

- Age 20-23, Attended Fetishcon, Atlanta Bound, Shibaricon twice. Assisted in presenting at classes at national conventions and local conventions. Started meeting a lot of big named Dommes, models, and photographers. Had my own members site and became part owners in a new Chicago dungeon - The Studio Chicago. Began filming as a male bottom in femdom based videos as well as doing fetish modeling for still photos. Also worth noting, I was a full time college student and worked some part-time jobs.

- Age 23, split with Miss Jaded and I moved to Ohio to stay with my mother for about 9 months. I lost my co-signer with college and was forced to take a year off from school. I took a much needed brake from kink as I was getting over a break up and needed time for myself. I got 1 full time job and then a 2nd full time job, working 80 plus hours per week.

- Age 23, Starting to get back into kink and to my normal self I knew that Madame Ingrid was a respected Domme and was in Pittsburgh. I contact her and had a 1 hour session with her. I paid $300 for the hour. I had a great experience and was back within the same week and had another 1 hour session for $300. She knew who I was through some friends and over the next few months we built a friendship.

- Age 23, Lexi Sindel contacted me as she knew I was in Ohio. She let me know of some filming going on in Columbus as Club Dom was in town. The next day I shot with them. Soon after I was in D.C. shooting with Lexi Sindel.

- Age 23 turning 24. I began to put myself out there as a fetish model. People had known of me from Chicago and the traveling I was doing. I started doing trade for content work as well as accepting paid gigs.

-----------------------

- I'm now 25 and graduating college this summer. I have my blog and I have my own clips4sale store that I'm continuing to build - AEB Femdom.

I'll be in Chicago this summer - 2012 with an internship and then moving to Phoenix, Arizona for a few years with a job offer. My life in kink as a submissive will continue to grow and evolve. My life is my life. Other male submissive's can do what pleases them, but don't limit yourself and think that you can't find someone to serve. Or that you can't be involved in the community.

I am proud of what I've accomplished in Kink. I'm proud that I've made a name that people recognize, respect and get off to. I'm proud of the people I've gotten to explore my kinks with and I look forward to all that comes. I mean shit, I am only 25.

Here's a list of all the people I can recall working with over the past 9 plus years.

- Lexi Sindel - Madame Ingrid- VonLivid - Maya Sinstress - Nyssa Nevers - Jade Indica - Lochai - Miss Jaded - Xena - Miss Cheyenne Nikki Domino - Miss Jaded - Miss Simone - Miss Whip - Alexandra Sadista - Natalya Sadici - Dvnt - Miss Mina Meow - Corral Korrupt - Ginger Stone - Gia - Maria Purple Goddess - Lady O - Victoria Sapphire - Noel Knight - Miss Jenni Fishnets - House of Bias Latex - Haven - Kelle Martina - Jessica Temptress - Manchester & I know there's more but I don't remember everyone.

7 week Road Trip part 1

After Ithaca, New York I was off to Philly. It was my first time there since I was a child, I wish I had more time than a 1/2 a day there. I'll definitely be back. Miss Lydia Rules was nice enough to meet up with me and I crashed at Coral Korrupts place. Coral was already in DC where I was heading the next day. Lydia is into Lolita fashion and she had a dress that she had ordered a bit large so we played a little dress up. Overall it fit pretty good so I have a better idea of what size to get when I start my Lolita collection. My friend, we'll call him "Bobcat" likes electrical play and he saw that Coral had a cattle prod and asked me if I would use it on him. I was like, are you sure and he was game. That was fun lol :) I shocked him on his ass a few times and boy did he jump but at the same time he enjoyed it. I haven't tried it yet, I try to avoid using it on me that is.

Then it was on to DC in the morning. Bobcat drove back home and Lydia and I were on our way to the "Slave Party" hosted by Lexi Sindel. There were 5 Dommes, Lexi Sindel, Coral Korrupt, Lydia Rules, Jenni Fishnets, and Nikki Domino. I had known them all except for Nikki at the time. A good amount of guys showed up but Lexi's 2 personal slaves that were there and I only helped out with the party. The party was for the other guys attending. Eventually they all went downstairs to play and the 3 of us were left by all the food and alcohol so of course I indulged. As the night got late I ended up playing just a little bit with Nikki and it's safe to say Nikki and I had a really good time that night. She's really cool and enjoyable to be around.

I ended up staying in DC with Lexi to film for 12 days. In that time I shot with Lexi, Victoria Sapphire from Columbus, Ohio and Nikki Domino. A ball kicking submissive was also there for a few shoots, and Cybil Troy and her slave from New York were in town for a few days as well.

I'm trying to recall all the scenes I did while there:
- w/ Lexi as Santa strap-on and heavy bondage
- w/ Lexi wrestling
- w/ Lexi boot worship
- w/ Lexi & Victoria double strap-on
- w/ Lexi and Victoria self cock sucking
- w/ Victoria heavy flogging
- w/ Victoria Whipping
- w/ Victoria Caning (first time I've ever cried during a scene & I cried a lot)
- w/ Victoria CBT, S&M scene and bondage
- w/ Victoria boot worship
- w/ Nikki Domino Strap-on
------------- I think that's all of them and then I just helped out when other people were in town.
Lexi had me serving her on a more regular basis while I was there. We had discussed working out a D/s relationship between us on a more regular basis. I have a few play partners but I've been keeping my eyes open to playing more regularly and more intense with someone. Lexi and I have discussed things a bit and neither of us want to jump into something because I take a D/s relationship seriously but things seem to be heading in a positive direction with us.

I'll wrap up the rest of my trip in my next journal.
But here's a picture of Lexi as Santa with her submissive.... Me.