It was February 7, 2012 - 3 weeks ago from today that I got a blood test to see if I was born with Klinefelter's Syndrom, XXY.
My entire life I've felt that my body was a bit different than most boys. I remember a specific instance playing basketball and a teammate ran by me on the court after I made a shot and he slapped my ass. Then he said, damn dude! You got a chick's ass. At that very moment it was kind of funny yet embarrassing because I knew that I did have a feminine butt. Then when I started getting more involved with kink at 18 and 19 and playing with different women they would always comment on how feminine my body was. Lots of people are in shock at how non-masculine my butt is. I've come to love my body, my butt etc. I've always liked my body but knew it was different. Last Thursday I shot with Jessica Temptress for the first time. As I was walking off the set in high heeled boots and a mini skirt showing off my ass she shouts, "You have the best ass I've ever seen on a guy!". My ass and body definitely comes in handy when I'm in woman mode, that's for sure!
So, I got tested on the 7th and they took 2 valves of blood. Although, the lady mentioned they only need 1. About a week later the doctor calls me and says, I got one of your blood valves back but there is no paperwork with it which is odd. He's like I'm not sure what this means except that you might not be XXY. He says, he'll get back to me. About 5 days later the doctor calls me again and says, never mind what I told you before, they didn't run that valve of blood. He then tells me he got the tested valve back with paperwork and that I WAS born with Klinefelter's - XXY.
So what does that all mean?
Some doctors argue if that technically means you were born intersexed but more doctors say it does mean that. I feel as if I am intersexed because I have more female physical traits than I do masculine. I am at risk for some female health risks that men aren't like osteoporosis and breast cancer and yet I have some male traits like a deeper voice, cock and balls, and I've lived my life as a male for 25 years now.
I actually responded differently that I thought I would when I got the results. I've thought I've been born XXY for about 4 years now but I wasn't 100% sure. Now that I know I am it's a bit strange to know that you weren't born 100% male or 100% female. The question that comes to mind at first is, what am I?
After coming back down to earth, and asking myself that question the answer is, I am me. I am happy with myself, always have been. I'm able to transcend gender boundaries when ever I want to. I'm able to fit into both gender roles when ever I want to. In a strange way I'm more well rounded. I tend to see things differently than many people and if I must say so myself, I'm one pretty good looking man and one fucking sexy girl! The best of both worlds as it stands.
I meet with some doctors March 7th to talk more about Klinefelter's and what I want to do from here. Some people choose to take testosterone to boost their energy, muscle growth, body hair, facial hair, and for some orgasmic purposes. Some, although many fewer choose to live as a woman and take estrogen, and get a sex change. Some choose neither option and don't take any medication and live the way they are. Right now, I'm the 3rd option. I know that I don't want to take testosterone but I've considered estrogen and a sex change. Right now, it's just remaining with who I am.
I'm not 100% about this but I've read a bit that there is a public fund for those born intersexed and wanting to get a sex change. I have to do more research....
I've gone to a group setting gender identity (Trans Group) here at Ohio University the past 2 weeks. It's been good. The first week I just listened to everyone else talk and here their stories. Last week I shared my new XXY news and we all discussed it. It is nice to just talk with others of all ages and backgrounds who can relate in some manner. I am the only one in the group who is XXY but there are MtF, FtM, Gender Queers and more in the group so it's been good to meet some others in the Athens, area.
I'll keep everyone updated on the XXY thing, especially after meeting with doctors March 7th. 1 out of every 500 males (approximate) are born with Klinefelter's. It's common yet still very un-common and unknown to most the public. This is what it has done to me physically:
1. Long arms and legs
2. Little to no body hair
3. Little to no facial hair
4. Soft (feminine) skin
5. No frontal balding
6. Small hands for height
7. Small feet for heights (For me I'm 6'3 tall & wear a size 9-10 in mens & 10-11 in women's)
8. Weight distribution of a woman (Hips, butt, thighs, stomach)
9. Wider hips
10. Small testicles
11. Low testosterone (I had it tested)
Other Things: (This is personal to me)
1. I took speech classes as a kid for about 5 years in pre-school through early Elementary. (This is a sign)
2. When I began to masturbate (age 7-ish) I began like a woman. Not using my cock but rubbing of pelvic bone area. I can still do this today.
3. At puberty testosterone kicked in a bit but I plateaued at about 15,16 and never matured into what a boy would be.
Health:
1. Very low chance I am fertile. (Probably can't have kids) I'm talking to doctors on this more
2. Higher chance for Osteoporosis (Like a woman)
3. Higher chance of Breast Cancer (Like a woman)
4. Earlier tooth decay
----------------------------------------------
In some other news:
The first 2 are custom videos I made for a client.
I shot with Jessica Temptress as I mentioned above. She's out of Columbus and was fun to work with. She brought a good array of things to the shoot and we got some great stuff. We shot a kidnapping scene starting with me in the trunk of a car. Then into the woods for some beating, trampling, and strap-on. Eventually I was fucked on the car as well and then left half naked and feminized in the woods.
Then in our next shoot I was a high paid, big-headed actor who was playing a female role in a movie. The director and I got into an argument over nudity and she takes advantage of me. Strap-on in several positions, barehand spankings, slapping and more. Plus, upside down cuming due to all the humiliation.
---
I was in Chicago for an interview and then shot with a long time friend that goes all the way back to my early Miss Jaded days. So it was fun to shoot with her - Alexandra Sadista as well as Natalya Sadici It was actually my first time meeting Natalya even though we've known of each other for awhile. Unfortunately, we didn't shoot quite as much as we wanted due to time restraints however, we were productive and it was fun.
I was feminized in lingerie and then forcefully had red lipstick applied to my lips. I was put into bondage and orally trained by a 9 inch - thick dildo. I was made to kiss it, lick it, and suck it. Then I was forced to deep throat it ALL THE WAY DOWN - Upside down. It was difficult but as we all know, I enjoy being a good slut!
All these videos will be on AEB KINK - My Clips4sale Store soon.
Then on Monday I drove back home to Athens, Ohio. But, to make things more fun and of course to save time :) when I first stopped for gas in northern Indiana I took one of my thick & crinkly ABUniverse diapers into the bathroom stall with me. I put it on nice and tight and wet it as I ordered Arby's. I had another 6 hours of driving to do and wet it 2 more times by the time I arrived home. It was nice - "warm" trip.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Transition?
FYI.... This is a very candid post
I've noted a few times through this blog that I considered transitioning, M2F in the past. I considered it so much that I saw a doctor, a counselor and took hormones for 6 or 8 weeks. I don't specifically recall the exact amount of weeks. I started hormones in mid December 2009 and then stopped after a few injections. So its been a little over 2 years since I had stopped taking injections.
A Little History:
Like many I've been cross-dressing since I was a child. At the same time I've been kinky since I was a child. All I knew was that both were not accepted by society. I have specific memories wanting to wear my sisters pink onesie instead of my blue one when I was about 5 and my sister was 12. When I could I would wear hers, even though it was big on me. At the same time when my grandfather was dieing I used to use some of his diapers, I was about 7. Then there was bondage and everything else that came with it.
As a child and as a teenager I always associated cross-dressing with kink/bdsm. Now these two things can be associated together but they can also be two completely different things. I learned how to masturbate "like a girl" by myself around the age or 7 or 8. I even tried to show one of my friends at the time and now look back embarrassed and always wondered if he recalled that night. As a teenager I always wore my sisters clothes. I would wear my girlfriends clothes, other girls clothes and when I got a job at 15 I began to buy my own girl clothes. At times it was sexual but many other times it wasn't. The older I've gotten the less sexual it has become.
More Recent:
I'm extremely kinky. There is no changing that, in fact I love that. With that said so many of my personal fantasies first involve me being in a "girl form" first and then the kink fantasy on top of that. I believe it was my sophomore year of college when I was at Columbia College Chicago and a teacher was talking about Klinefelter's Syndrome. I had no idea what it was, except that everything the teacher mentioned about it sounded just like my body. So I did some additional research and well I immediately thought that I could very well have it. Let me name some of the symptoms of being born XXY.
- Little to no body hair
- Little to no facial hair
- Small feet for your height
- Small hands for your height
- Often can be tall
- Can put on weight like a woman (Hips, thighs, butt)
- Small testicles (But has little effect on sex life)
- Also may have learning problems as a child
- Only 10% of guys have small natural breast growth.
Well, how do I fit in to all of this.
I am 6'2, 6'3 tall and wear a size 9 or 10 in mens shoes. I have rather small hands, I have little body hair, I have no facial hair, I put on weight like a woman and I have VERY small testicles. I also had learning problems as a child & took extra speech classes for about 5 years as a young kid. (I'm fine now).
When I went to a doctor to start hormones I had my testosterone tested. It came back low, at 192. Guys testosterone should range from a little over 200 up to I believe 900. I didn't get tested for Klinefelter's because I didn't have insurance and it's a 800 dollar test.
Now:
Two days ago, Tuesday I went to the school health center & I have insurance through the school. I found out that the Klinefelter's test is covered by my insurance after the health center did some research for 2 hours as it's a rare thing to be tested, at least at this place. I had my blood drawn and I'll find out the results in about 10 days. Whether I actually have it or not won't really have an affect on me, I just wanted to know.
Last week this guy was presenting in my class on about joining the multicultural program. I had heard this speech twice last quarter in other classes so I wasn't really paying much attention. Then suddenly he says that he is a F2M Transgender man. The whole class was surprised that's for sure. For that same class everyone has to write a 8-10 page paper for our final on a issue that is present in today's society.
I chose to title my paper, "Transgender Transitions In The Modern Day". I contacted this guy who had presented, his name is Corey and the other day I interviewed him as a source for my paper.
---
Lately, I've really been considering transitioning again. I'm meeting with a counselor here on campus who works with the GLBT community tomorrow (Friday). At worst, just to talk, just to talk through things. I've learned that this is a thought that won't every really leave me. I'm extremely happy with who I am. With being a boy. Anyone that knows me knows that I'm outgoing, fun, light hearted, easy to get along with and good with the women - :)
I'm not someone who gets depressed or has anxiety, in fact I'm just the opposite. But, because of this I feel that my decision to transition or not is more difficult. Would transitioning really be worth it? I'm happy, I just happen to actually feel that maybe I should transition. I'm actually confused and nervous just thinking about it.
My Fears:
1. Work - My profession. I've gone to college for 5 years now and I'm ready to begin my career, asap! If I transition I'm throwing a bit of a road block in my own path.
I think if I were to transition you would see me doing things for the GLBT community and be more involved in TG porn, kink etc.
2. A relationship. I've heard about the difficulties for TG's dating. With that said I would also have to adjust to being a "lesbian" because I'm attracted to women.
3. My height. Even though I know I pass pretty damn good already as a boy it's still an added fear.
4. My tattoos. I'm heavily tattooed and tattoos can limit women more than men.
5. Family and Friends. All my good friends know that I was on hormones previously. They all stood behind me. I told my grandma I was considering transitioning back then and she was ok with it. I didn't tell my mom but I did tell her I cross-dress and she said I don't want to think about my son doing that, but one I already knew and two I love you. My sister, doesn't know and I know she would not respond well at all! Plus she has 3 kids and I want to be a part of their lives.
All my family and friends know that I've been doing kinky porn and bdsm modeling and they are cool with it. In fact my mom gets a kick out of it. None the less it's still a natural concern.
6. Cost. To be honest I would want surgery rather soon in the process. Facial work and breasts within 1 year of transitioning and if possible be post-op within 2, 21/2 years. That's not cheap.
7. Voice. I know you can do voice training but it just seems like another hurdle to deal with.
Worth Noting:
If I were to transition I would want to fully transition. I would want to be a post-op and have a vagina. There is absolutely no question about that. In fact it's something I think about a lot more than any boy should.
Also, if I had more knowledge on transitioning as a teenager I know for a fact I would have began transitioning by the age of 18. I always associated cross-dressing and kink together and when I started to hear that people could change genders and about hormones I went to Walgreens to find these hormones. Only to learn that the herbal hormones don't do much. So I did want to transition even as a teenager but obviously I didn't because of lack of knowledge.
We'll see what happens. I don't want to be 30 and start transitioning. In fact, I won't be doing that. If I decide to transition it will be sooner than later. But, it's a big, big decision. I just want to be fair to myself and think it through thoroughly. Thinking about this does make me nervous, anxious and concerned. At the same time I'm excited and very unsure. So, hopefully I can talk with someone here at school and just work through my thoughts. See what the blood results come back as and figure out what's best for me.
Here's a new picture of me in natural make-up & my hair down.
I've noted a few times through this blog that I considered transitioning, M2F in the past. I considered it so much that I saw a doctor, a counselor and took hormones for 6 or 8 weeks. I don't specifically recall the exact amount of weeks. I started hormones in mid December 2009 and then stopped after a few injections. So its been a little over 2 years since I had stopped taking injections.
A Little History:
Like many I've been cross-dressing since I was a child. At the same time I've been kinky since I was a child. All I knew was that both were not accepted by society. I have specific memories wanting to wear my sisters pink onesie instead of my blue one when I was about 5 and my sister was 12. When I could I would wear hers, even though it was big on me. At the same time when my grandfather was dieing I used to use some of his diapers, I was about 7. Then there was bondage and everything else that came with it.
As a child and as a teenager I always associated cross-dressing with kink/bdsm. Now these two things can be associated together but they can also be two completely different things. I learned how to masturbate "like a girl" by myself around the age or 7 or 8. I even tried to show one of my friends at the time and now look back embarrassed and always wondered if he recalled that night. As a teenager I always wore my sisters clothes. I would wear my girlfriends clothes, other girls clothes and when I got a job at 15 I began to buy my own girl clothes. At times it was sexual but many other times it wasn't. The older I've gotten the less sexual it has become.
More Recent:
I'm extremely kinky. There is no changing that, in fact I love that. With that said so many of my personal fantasies first involve me being in a "girl form" first and then the kink fantasy on top of that. I believe it was my sophomore year of college when I was at Columbia College Chicago and a teacher was talking about Klinefelter's Syndrome. I had no idea what it was, except that everything the teacher mentioned about it sounded just like my body. So I did some additional research and well I immediately thought that I could very well have it. Let me name some of the symptoms of being born XXY.
- Little to no body hair
- Little to no facial hair
- Small feet for your height
- Small hands for your height
- Often can be tall
- Can put on weight like a woman (Hips, thighs, butt)
- Small testicles (But has little effect on sex life)
- Also may have learning problems as a child
- Only 10% of guys have small natural breast growth.
Well, how do I fit in to all of this.
I am 6'2, 6'3 tall and wear a size 9 or 10 in mens shoes. I have rather small hands, I have little body hair, I have no facial hair, I put on weight like a woman and I have VERY small testicles. I also had learning problems as a child & took extra speech classes for about 5 years as a young kid. (I'm fine now).
When I went to a doctor to start hormones I had my testosterone tested. It came back low, at 192. Guys testosterone should range from a little over 200 up to I believe 900. I didn't get tested for Klinefelter's because I didn't have insurance and it's a 800 dollar test.
Now:
Two days ago, Tuesday I went to the school health center & I have insurance through the school. I found out that the Klinefelter's test is covered by my insurance after the health center did some research for 2 hours as it's a rare thing to be tested, at least at this place. I had my blood drawn and I'll find out the results in about 10 days. Whether I actually have it or not won't really have an affect on me, I just wanted to know.
Last week this guy was presenting in my class on about joining the multicultural program. I had heard this speech twice last quarter in other classes so I wasn't really paying much attention. Then suddenly he says that he is a F2M Transgender man. The whole class was surprised that's for sure. For that same class everyone has to write a 8-10 page paper for our final on a issue that is present in today's society.
I chose to title my paper, "Transgender Transitions In The Modern Day". I contacted this guy who had presented, his name is Corey and the other day I interviewed him as a source for my paper.
---
Lately, I've really been considering transitioning again. I'm meeting with a counselor here on campus who works with the GLBT community tomorrow (Friday). At worst, just to talk, just to talk through things. I've learned that this is a thought that won't every really leave me. I'm extremely happy with who I am. With being a boy. Anyone that knows me knows that I'm outgoing, fun, light hearted, easy to get along with and good with the women - :)
I'm not someone who gets depressed or has anxiety, in fact I'm just the opposite. But, because of this I feel that my decision to transition or not is more difficult. Would transitioning really be worth it? I'm happy, I just happen to actually feel that maybe I should transition. I'm actually confused and nervous just thinking about it.
My Fears:
1. Work - My profession. I've gone to college for 5 years now and I'm ready to begin my career, asap! If I transition I'm throwing a bit of a road block in my own path.
I think if I were to transition you would see me doing things for the GLBT community and be more involved in TG porn, kink etc.
2. A relationship. I've heard about the difficulties for TG's dating. With that said I would also have to adjust to being a "lesbian" because I'm attracted to women.
3. My height. Even though I know I pass pretty damn good already as a boy it's still an added fear.
4. My tattoos. I'm heavily tattooed and tattoos can limit women more than men.
5. Family and Friends. All my good friends know that I was on hormones previously. They all stood behind me. I told my grandma I was considering transitioning back then and she was ok with it. I didn't tell my mom but I did tell her I cross-dress and she said I don't want to think about my son doing that, but one I already knew and two I love you. My sister, doesn't know and I know she would not respond well at all! Plus she has 3 kids and I want to be a part of their lives.
All my family and friends know that I've been doing kinky porn and bdsm modeling and they are cool with it. In fact my mom gets a kick out of it. None the less it's still a natural concern.
6. Cost. To be honest I would want surgery rather soon in the process. Facial work and breasts within 1 year of transitioning and if possible be post-op within 2, 21/2 years. That's not cheap.
7. Voice. I know you can do voice training but it just seems like another hurdle to deal with.
Worth Noting:
If I were to transition I would want to fully transition. I would want to be a post-op and have a vagina. There is absolutely no question about that. In fact it's something I think about a lot more than any boy should.
Also, if I had more knowledge on transitioning as a teenager I know for a fact I would have began transitioning by the age of 18. I always associated cross-dressing and kink together and when I started to hear that people could change genders and about hormones I went to Walgreens to find these hormones. Only to learn that the herbal hormones don't do much. So I did want to transition even as a teenager but obviously I didn't because of lack of knowledge.
We'll see what happens. I don't want to be 30 and start transitioning. In fact, I won't be doing that. If I decide to transition it will be sooner than later. But, it's a big, big decision. I just want to be fair to myself and think it through thoroughly. Thinking about this does make me nervous, anxious and concerned. At the same time I'm excited and very unsure. So, hopefully I can talk with someone here at school and just work through my thoughts. See what the blood results come back as and figure out what's best for me.
Here's a new picture of me in natural make-up & my hair down.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Party Hard - Work Hard
I'm looking at trying to go to DC/Baltimore sometime in Feb. A friend of mine has let me use his car most of Jan. all the way to the first week of March. Long story short he has an extra car at the moment so he told me I could use his car. So, that means I should really make a trip to DC and get some Fetish work in. I feel like my crazy-hectic life has slowed down just a bit. I'm pretty much caught up in everything but still busy.
I might be doing some tutoring for management class that I took last year. It's a tough class about organizational behavior with a tough teacher yet he's an awesome teacher. I have him again this quarter for another class and he told me I could get paid to help out some students.
I've also have 3 interviews for an internship that I really want including discussing things with the CEO yesterday. So, we'll see if I got it or not by mid Feb. If I don't get it I'm leaning towards going to either Peru, New Zealand, or Australia for the summer to study abroad/intern abroad.
On top that, I'm doing a freelance account executive position selling advertising to local businesses for the school yearbook.
I just found out that Big K.R.I.T. is performing here at O.U. Feb. 18th. I'm so excited for this and tickets are dirt cheap because it's on campus. If you like hip hop he is a very diverse artist that is bring back passion, talent, lyricism with amazing beats to hip hop. He's from Mississippi & I am going to be at the show. Here is a link to a youtube song of his called, "As small as a giant".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ak_NOJVQoY4
I've also been putting up some of my own poetry - spoken word pieces on youtube. I've posted a piece called "Chi Town Script King" that is a fun, joking piece about my friends tattoo shop and him. Then I have a piece up called "Concept of Profit" which is a great piece and I just uploaded a new one called, "Natural". Here is the link to Natural...
Http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiTV9Toy1ak
Check it out! So you can see some of my other talents and passions. I love to write in pretty much all forms, blogs, papers, lyrics, poetry & more.
As for kink.... It's still a bit absent in my life at the moment. I went to college to better myself and just about all my efforts of late have been directed to school, internships, and applying to jobs. As I said, I'm trying to get out to DC to shoot some femdom and maybe take a few sessions but we'll see. Hopefully, I'll get some personal play in soon as well.
I was in Chicago this past weekend for a funeral. My brother-in-laws father died so me and my mother drove to Chicago for the services. It just so happened that my best friend was throwing a surprise birthday party for his girlfriend on Friday night and all the services were over by then. So I went up to Chicago to help him set things up and party. About 25 people showed up to hotel Sofitel to say, SURPRISE and do some pre-game drinking. We have a few cases of beer, jungle juice, whiskey, rum, Malibu, wine, port - a lot more than we needed. At midnight we went to the bar/club called "Mothers" because a friend of our's DJ's and hooked everyone up with $25 wrist bands from midnight to close. More friends showed up to say happy B-day and the night was going great. I was dancing all night! I love to dance if you don't know.
Then..... it started, the craziness.
Some of our friends got into a fight and got kicked out. I have no idea how I got back to the hotel or when I left. Then next thing I remember is puking into a red plastic cup being held by others and then puking in the toilet. Only to then have security guards pull me out of the bed that I was sleeping in at 6am. I guess in between all those blackout moments the 10 of us who made it back to the hotel destroyed the hotel. But, let me say at least I was sleeping while this occurred. Shattered picture frames, art knocked off walls, wine on walls and carpet, puke on carpet, confetti & food everywhere, blood on the wall and carpet. My friend andrew accidently got his cheek cut and ended up in the hospital getting stitches and the rest of us got kicked out at 6am. Too much alcohol turned us into rock stars. We got the hotel damage bill a few days later................ $2,100!
Oh! And did I mention we originally got the room cheap because of Jamal's father and his business. Jamal's father is Muslim and assumes Jamal and his sister don't drink, well that didn't go over well especially when his sister is only 19.
It was like the movie, "The Hangover".
Anyways, here are some pictures from that crazy night. Unfortunately we don't have any pictures of what it looked like when we got kicked out, only massive hang overs.
I might be doing some tutoring for management class that I took last year. It's a tough class about organizational behavior with a tough teacher yet he's an awesome teacher. I have him again this quarter for another class and he told me I could get paid to help out some students.
I've also have 3 interviews for an internship that I really want including discussing things with the CEO yesterday. So, we'll see if I got it or not by mid Feb. If I don't get it I'm leaning towards going to either Peru, New Zealand, or Australia for the summer to study abroad/intern abroad.
On top that, I'm doing a freelance account executive position selling advertising to local businesses for the school yearbook.
I just found out that Big K.R.I.T. is performing here at O.U. Feb. 18th. I'm so excited for this and tickets are dirt cheap because it's on campus. If you like hip hop he is a very diverse artist that is bring back passion, talent, lyricism with amazing beats to hip hop. He's from Mississippi & I am going to be at the show. Here is a link to a youtube song of his called, "As small as a giant".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ak_NOJVQoY4
I've also been putting up some of my own poetry - spoken word pieces on youtube. I've posted a piece called "Chi Town Script King" that is a fun, joking piece about my friends tattoo shop and him. Then I have a piece up called "Concept of Profit" which is a great piece and I just uploaded a new one called, "Natural". Here is the link to Natural...
Http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiTV9Toy1ak
Check it out! So you can see some of my other talents and passions. I love to write in pretty much all forms, blogs, papers, lyrics, poetry & more.
As for kink.... It's still a bit absent in my life at the moment. I went to college to better myself and just about all my efforts of late have been directed to school, internships, and applying to jobs. As I said, I'm trying to get out to DC to shoot some femdom and maybe take a few sessions but we'll see. Hopefully, I'll get some personal play in soon as well.
I was in Chicago this past weekend for a funeral. My brother-in-laws father died so me and my mother drove to Chicago for the services. It just so happened that my best friend was throwing a surprise birthday party for his girlfriend on Friday night and all the services were over by then. So I went up to Chicago to help him set things up and party. About 25 people showed up to hotel Sofitel to say, SURPRISE and do some pre-game drinking. We have a few cases of beer, jungle juice, whiskey, rum, Malibu, wine, port - a lot more than we needed. At midnight we went to the bar/club called "Mothers" because a friend of our's DJ's and hooked everyone up with $25 wrist bands from midnight to close. More friends showed up to say happy B-day and the night was going great. I was dancing all night! I love to dance if you don't know.
Then..... it started, the craziness.
Some of our friends got into a fight and got kicked out. I have no idea how I got back to the hotel or when I left. Then next thing I remember is puking into a red plastic cup being held by others and then puking in the toilet. Only to then have security guards pull me out of the bed that I was sleeping in at 6am. I guess in between all those blackout moments the 10 of us who made it back to the hotel destroyed the hotel. But, let me say at least I was sleeping while this occurred. Shattered picture frames, art knocked off walls, wine on walls and carpet, puke on carpet, confetti & food everywhere, blood on the wall and carpet. My friend andrew accidently got his cheek cut and ended up in the hospital getting stitches and the rest of us got kicked out at 6am. Too much alcohol turned us into rock stars. We got the hotel damage bill a few days later................ $2,100!
Oh! And did I mention we originally got the room cheap because of Jamal's father and his business. Jamal's father is Muslim and assumes Jamal and his sister don't drink, well that didn't go over well especially when his sister is only 19.
It was like the movie, "The Hangover".
Anyways, here are some pictures from that crazy night. Unfortunately we don't have any pictures of what it looked like when we got kicked out, only massive hang overs.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Photo Frenzy & Chaos
Since I've gotten back to Ohio about 10 days ago my life has been totally hectic. I'm definitely a bit stressed out as I feel the pressure of deadlines approaching. I'm doing 20 credit hours again this quarter and will do the same next quarter which is a lot of classes if you don't know. Most students take 3 or 4 classes on a quarter system and I've been taking 5. On top of that... this quarter I have to do 8 hours of charity work for one of my classes. I'm studying for a huge 2nd interview for a job I'm interested in and I'm also seriously looking into doing either a study abroad or a international internship this summer. I have to take a few school credits this summer and then graduate in August. However, my mother wants to see me walk in graduation in June so I'm working out the details for that. I can't forget that I'm also sending out additional resumes/cover letters and oh... I still have to travel and do kink work because well, that's how I get paid.
So, as you can see I'm trying to juggle a lot and that's why I haven't been blogging quite as often over the past few months. I do have some interesting blog topics though, I just have to balance out my life. Because of all of this going on I haven't had much of a kink life as of late.
With all this said I am excited about the possibility of going abroad this summer. One of the places I'm looking at is London and I would love to be there for the Olympics, the professional opportunity and would love to be in one of the fetish capitals of the world!
For work, I am looking at going to the DC/Baltimore area in either late Jan or early Feb. I'm trying to work out Jan 27-29. If anyone is interested in working or playing together professional then email me at Morgankeni4@gmail.com (I may also make a pit-stop in Pittsburgh).
The Holidays in Chicago were good. Christmas was fun although I did get sick the day after Christmas and I'm just know starting to really get over it. I really started to feel sick on NYE but it was NYE and my best friends b-day so I ignored it and partied. I sure felt it the following 2 days though as I felt like I was dying. It was definitely the sickest I've been in a few years. My last full day in Chicago I got tattooed and as I talked about it in my last post I got a picture of myself crossdressed. It was by far the most painful tat I've gotten yet as I struggled to sit through it. A large portion is on my stomach and then my left hip bone but it was the stomach that hurt like hell! Here is a close up on the same day it was done and then a look at it with my other tats. We still have to add a background blending all the tats in the general area.
Here's a NYE 2012 Picture with me and some of my friends at the hotel before going out.
The other day I was going through some of my old emails and looking up pictures. I came across some old kinky pictures of me from when I was 19 and a freshman at Columbia College Chicago. I was trying to get involved in the Chicago fetish scene and that can be difficult when you're under 21 and a male. I never sought out the TNG group. Instead my roommate happened to be a photographer and was semi interested in kink. I thought that if I took some pics of myself and put them up on ModelMayhem then I could start to meet some people and get involved in the scene. Well it worked if you haven't noticed. My college roommate who I met that year was named Mike and he became a friend of mine until fall of 2010, my first year here at Ohio University. Halloween night, he was supposed to be here partying with me but things just didn't work out. He ended up committing suicide. I thought I would pull out some of these old pictures and share them with you. It was definitely some amateur work by all of us involved but it was fun and helped catapult me into the world of Fetish. Luckily we had a dungeon space to use as my good friend VonLivid let us use her space to shoot.
I also got 2 new pictures back from Femdom Frenzy which is a company I shoot with when I'm in the DC/Baltimore area. I finally got to work with my friend Nyssa Nevers and I also met and worked with Miss Allegra out of Baltimore for the first time. One picture is of me as a sissy maid serving the 2 ladies and the other is of me worshipping Nyssa's boots.
I actually came across some other old pictures while going through my email. They are an eclectic bunch of kinky pictures so enjoy.
Miss Holland toying around with Me
Hooded & cleaning
Just a pic of me w/ short hair & makeup
Boxtie
My best friend Jamal dressed as a girl passed out drunk in Chicago Blizzard - Hahaha
Oh... Almost forgot. I decided to start an additional blog well actually it's a Vlog - Video blog. This is a little different than this blog but I will be posting videos of some of my poetry and lyrics but it will also have videos of some self-androgyny, some fetish topics, sports, tattoos and more.
As I'm writing this I only have 1 video uploaded but I will have more soon. Here is the link to the video & my channel is called - Not What You Expected Youtube channel. Subscribe to follow me and my videos.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Christmas Season
I got into Chicago November 28th and I've been staying with my best friend Jamal, like usual. My first night in town I went to see my play partner but I had just arrived in Chicago so we got some dinner and relaxed. We hung out one other time since I've been in town but unfortunately do to some "outside circumstances" I haven't seen much of her while I've been here. In fact I really haven't done anything kinky since I've been in Chicago and that's been a little over 3 weeks. On one hand I don't mind but on the other I would really like to play.
Maya Sinstress and I have been trying to get our schedules to line up to shoot video but haven't been able to yet. I know I'll be in DC and Pittsburgh in either late Jan-early Feb. DC is just straight work for me, video and sessions. Pittsburgh is a bit of work and maybe some play with Madame Ingrid. She wants me to get a lolita dress from Milanoo which have really good prices on many items. I've never really been a lolita but I'm very intrigued by that entire culture and it works great for sissies too. Hopefully the Steelers do well in the playoffs and I can go to Pittsburgh for a weekend to work, play, and watch the Steelers.
Even though I haven't had any kink in my life since I've been in Chicago I've been having a blast. I'm not sure if I will be returning to Chicago post graduation. If I land a job in Chicago then I will be back but if I land a job in another city then I will only be back once in awhile. So, it's been good to spend a good amount of time with my good friends. Unfortunately, when you spend a lot of time with my friends that means you're going to be doing a lot of drinking which adds up to putting on some weight. I need to start working out asap and tone up again!
New Years Eve is Jamals 25th Birthday so a bunch of us got together to do one of his presents but the timing was weird. Jamal, me and his girlfriend went to the Steelers bar in Lakeview last Monday night and did a good deal of drinking. Jamal got called into work at 1am for an emergency but he didn't want to drive to work being drunk. His girlfriend took him and I took his car and went over to another one of our friends house because we are installing his subwoofers. Only one of us know how to do that and that's not me, there were 4 of us and one was a girl. We were all drinking and installed the system from 1am to 7am in the morning.
Speaking of NYE, we're going to the Hyatt in Rosemont. There's about 12 or so of us total. NYE is always fun and we've heard good things about this event from some people we know. School starts Jan 3rd and I was going to head back to Ohio Jan 2nd but I decided to skip my first week of school. It's just the first week and 2 of my 5 teachers I had this past quarter so I'm not concerned. The reason I'm staying a few days more in Chicago is because I'm getting tattooed. I haven't been tattooed in 8 months and it's been over a year since my main artist has done work on me. I'm getting the picture below of me crossdressed. The piece is going to fit perfectly with where I want it and it will be just below my ballgag tattoo. The piece in total will be about 4-5 inches wide and about 10 inches tall, so it will be a good size piece. It will sit on my lower left ribs, stomach and hip area and so it will be painful. But, as we all know I like a bit of pain.
Maybe it's a bit narcissistic of me to get a picture of myself tattooed but this is my thinking. I've been trying to think of a tattoo to get to symbolize my crossdressing side. I've been thinking for a few years and I finally thought, why not get a portrait style pinup of myself.
When I do get back to Ohio I will be hard at work. I've been filling out resumes and cover letters while here in Chicago and will continue to do so in Ohio. I also have a BIG 2nd interview in late Jan-early Feb so I have to prepare for that. This past quarter I earned a 3.0 while taking the max amount of classes possible, so hopefully I can repeat that this quarter. I also have 2 planned custom videos I'm going to be shooting. So, it's safe to say I will have a full plate when returning to Ohio in 2 weeks.
Until then I'm going to continue to enjoy the Holidays with friends and family. I have a few people I still have to see before I leave and bit more fun to have. Merry Christmas to everyone and happy kinking!
Maya Sinstress and I have been trying to get our schedules to line up to shoot video but haven't been able to yet. I know I'll be in DC and Pittsburgh in either late Jan-early Feb. DC is just straight work for me, video and sessions. Pittsburgh is a bit of work and maybe some play with Madame Ingrid. She wants me to get a lolita dress from Milanoo which have really good prices on many items. I've never really been a lolita but I'm very intrigued by that entire culture and it works great for sissies too. Hopefully the Steelers do well in the playoffs and I can go to Pittsburgh for a weekend to work, play, and watch the Steelers.
Even though I haven't had any kink in my life since I've been in Chicago I've been having a blast. I'm not sure if I will be returning to Chicago post graduation. If I land a job in Chicago then I will be back but if I land a job in another city then I will only be back once in awhile. So, it's been good to spend a good amount of time with my good friends. Unfortunately, when you spend a lot of time with my friends that means you're going to be doing a lot of drinking which adds up to putting on some weight. I need to start working out asap and tone up again!
New Years Eve is Jamals 25th Birthday so a bunch of us got together to do one of his presents but the timing was weird. Jamal, me and his girlfriend went to the Steelers bar in Lakeview last Monday night and did a good deal of drinking. Jamal got called into work at 1am for an emergency but he didn't want to drive to work being drunk. His girlfriend took him and I took his car and went over to another one of our friends house because we are installing his subwoofers. Only one of us know how to do that and that's not me, there were 4 of us and one was a girl. We were all drinking and installed the system from 1am to 7am in the morning.
Speaking of NYE, we're going to the Hyatt in Rosemont. There's about 12 or so of us total. NYE is always fun and we've heard good things about this event from some people we know. School starts Jan 3rd and I was going to head back to Ohio Jan 2nd but I decided to skip my first week of school. It's just the first week and 2 of my 5 teachers I had this past quarter so I'm not concerned. The reason I'm staying a few days more in Chicago is because I'm getting tattooed. I haven't been tattooed in 8 months and it's been over a year since my main artist has done work on me. I'm getting the picture below of me crossdressed. The piece is going to fit perfectly with where I want it and it will be just below my ballgag tattoo. The piece in total will be about 4-5 inches wide and about 10 inches tall, so it will be a good size piece. It will sit on my lower left ribs, stomach and hip area and so it will be painful. But, as we all know I like a bit of pain.
Maybe it's a bit narcissistic of me to get a picture of myself tattooed but this is my thinking. I've been trying to think of a tattoo to get to symbolize my crossdressing side. I've been thinking for a few years and I finally thought, why not get a portrait style pinup of myself.
When I do get back to Ohio I will be hard at work. I've been filling out resumes and cover letters while here in Chicago and will continue to do so in Ohio. I also have a BIG 2nd interview in late Jan-early Feb so I have to prepare for that. This past quarter I earned a 3.0 while taking the max amount of classes possible, so hopefully I can repeat that this quarter. I also have 2 planned custom videos I'm going to be shooting. So, it's safe to say I will have a full plate when returning to Ohio in 2 weeks.
Until then I'm going to continue to enjoy the Holidays with friends and family. I have a few people I still have to see before I leave and bit more fun to have. Merry Christmas to everyone and happy kinking!
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Free Video Trailor & HS Pictures
I was supposed to be in Pittsburgh tonight (right now) but Madame Ingrid had to cancel unfortunately. I haven't been in Pittsburgh since last spring (2011). I've been at my mothers house since Tuesday afternoon and the only reason I've been here so many days was because I was planning on going to Pittsburgh. I know there is a party in Pittsburgh next weekend that Ingrid invited me to but it's way too boring at my moms to stay another week. Oh well, I'll visit Pittsburgh soon and have to have some fun with Ingrid.
Those who know me well know that I HATE FLYING! I've flown a lot but not so much since I've been a young adult. Since I've been 18 I've only flown on 2 occasions. I flew when I went to Acapulco in 2006 which was ended up 4 flights there and back and to be honest one of those flights is what has really turned me off. I puked on a flight when I was in 8th grade going to Philly but not only did I puke on the 2006 flight I thought I was going to die and so did most of the plane. The last time I flew was last December (2010) out of Baltimore after I was done filming with Lexi Sindel into Chicago. Well this time, I'm taking the bus from Columbus to Chicago because I HATE FLYING and it's not that far.
I dyed my hair back to brown today. I had to dye it twice though because the pink was still a bit to evident after the first dye. I also forgot to post a few pictures of some of the shoes that a client has bought me lately. I've been doing a lot of custom videos for him and if you want custom videos just email me at MORGANKENI4@GMAIL.COM
He has bought me 2 pairs of knee high pleather boots, some heels and some ankle boots. I only have pictures of the ankle boots and one pair of the knee highs at the moment since I'm not at home but here you go.
I almost forgot and you may have seen me post this on my twitter or fetlife but Lexi Sindel seems to have almost finished her newest website. With that she has released 6 trailers of video clips for FREE! I'm in 5 of the 6 and in the 1st and 5th one I'm in A LOT of the trailer. However, I suggest watching them all because they are all great and I am sprinkled in many of them. You can see clips for me from being whipped, fucked, eating pussy, tag teamed, worshipping, cuming, sucking my own cock and more with several of the ladies. I'm also in one of the header pictures.
Go here to watch the TRAILERS - Femdom Empire
Since I've been so bored here the past few days I went through some old pictures on my mothers computer and emailed some pictures to myself. I came across some old high school pictures and thought I would share them.
Well I'll be in Chicago on Monday and I'm looking forward to a great December. Enjoying Winter and the holidays with family and friends. Plus I get to see my play partner :)!
Those who know me well know that I HATE FLYING! I've flown a lot but not so much since I've been a young adult. Since I've been 18 I've only flown on 2 occasions. I flew when I went to Acapulco in 2006 which was ended up 4 flights there and back and to be honest one of those flights is what has really turned me off. I puked on a flight when I was in 8th grade going to Philly but not only did I puke on the 2006 flight I thought I was going to die and so did most of the plane. The last time I flew was last December (2010) out of Baltimore after I was done filming with Lexi Sindel into Chicago. Well this time, I'm taking the bus from Columbus to Chicago because I HATE FLYING and it's not that far.
I dyed my hair back to brown today. I had to dye it twice though because the pink was still a bit to evident after the first dye. I also forgot to post a few pictures of some of the shoes that a client has bought me lately. I've been doing a lot of custom videos for him and if you want custom videos just email me at MORGANKENI4@GMAIL.COM
He has bought me 2 pairs of knee high pleather boots, some heels and some ankle boots. I only have pictures of the ankle boots and one pair of the knee highs at the moment since I'm not at home but here you go.
I almost forgot and you may have seen me post this on my twitter or fetlife but Lexi Sindel seems to have almost finished her newest website. With that she has released 6 trailers of video clips for FREE! I'm in 5 of the 6 and in the 1st and 5th one I'm in A LOT of the trailer. However, I suggest watching them all because they are all great and I am sprinkled in many of them. You can see clips for me from being whipped, fucked, eating pussy, tag teamed, worshipping, cuming, sucking my own cock and more with several of the ladies. I'm also in one of the header pictures.
Go here to watch the TRAILERS - Femdom Empire
Since I've been so bored here the past few days I went through some old pictures on my mothers computer and emailed some pictures to myself. I came across some old high school pictures and thought I would share them.
With my High School Girlfriend - I loved the hispanics (Well I still do)
Homecoming 2004 with a friend
Me with some of my hispanic girlfriends & then my X (on the left of me)
Me and an old friend of mine (We we're best friends for a long time)
Well I'll be in Chicago on Monday and I'm looking forward to a great December. Enjoying Winter and the holidays with family and friends. Plus I get to see my play partner :)!
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