Showing posts with label fetlife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fetlife. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Thursday, June 30, 2011
A Touchy Topic: The Fetish Industry
It seems like everyone is a fetish model or a pro domme these days. Not that there is anything wrong with being either because technically I am both. But it is here in the fetish community where anyone can proclaim to be a "fetish model" or a "pro domme". In a way that is what keeps the industry fresh, allowing new faces to emerge on the scene. On the other hand, it is was what over saturates the industry and the concept that anyone can do it is a dangerous theory.
If every male out there believed he can play professional football then no one would watch the sport. People wouldn't idolize players or respect their talents. It is the same here and for every other industry. Chicago has over 100 - born female Pro Dommes. There's only 10-15 that I would pay for a session and even that is pushing it. I feel bad for both the talented Dommes and the clients because the talented Dommes get put into the class of "just another domme" and they loose out on money. The clients have a difficult time deciding who they should session with and in many cases get a really poor session.
As for the "models", just go on Fetlife and I'm sure if you clicked on 100 random profiles at least 40-50% of them would claim to be some sort of fetish model. Just because someone else took a kinky picture of you doesn't mean your a fetish model. Just because you're involved in the kink community doesn't make you a fetish model.
So where do I land in all of this?
Well let me just say, there is nothing wrong with being an aspiring fetish model. It's just all about how you go about becoming one. Proclaiming that your a "fetish model" before you've ever established yourself in any manner is preposterous. I've been involved in the community since I was 18 and I'm turning 25 on September 6th. I've been at this for awhile and just in the past year did I really start pushing myself as my own product.
The last and most important key to me is being a fetish model or pro domme is actually being interested in the BDSM - Fetish world. Most people who make it on some level in this industry are actually kinky. Kinky isn't wanting to tie a woman to a bed and fuck her, that's rough sex. I see it all the time, people think they are kinky until they are around kinky people and they realize just how vanilla they are. There is nothing wrong with being vanilla but a pro domme should be kinky. It's their job to make the client feel at ease and there are just too many pro dommes that are only in it for the money that they think they can make.
Many models also aren't kinky and that is a shame to me as well. If your not kinky and want to model - don't do fetish modeling. America is the best country in the world at selling a lie so I guess it's naive of me to think that the fetish industry should be any different.
Personally, it's been a process for me but the past year has been a good one for me and I expect to continue to grow and push boundaries. I will be at FETISHCON in Tampa Bay July 28-31. I've already schedule lots of gigs with several different people. I also hope to work some old friends that I've never gotten to work with yet like Nyssa Nevers. I've also been asked to model for a tattoo book so I'm excited about that as well.
If every male out there believed he can play professional football then no one would watch the sport. People wouldn't idolize players or respect their talents. It is the same here and for every other industry. Chicago has over 100 - born female Pro Dommes. There's only 10-15 that I would pay for a session and even that is pushing it. I feel bad for both the talented Dommes and the clients because the talented Dommes get put into the class of "just another domme" and they loose out on money. The clients have a difficult time deciding who they should session with and in many cases get a really poor session.
As for the "models", just go on Fetlife and I'm sure if you clicked on 100 random profiles at least 40-50% of them would claim to be some sort of fetish model. Just because someone else took a kinky picture of you doesn't mean your a fetish model. Just because you're involved in the kink community doesn't make you a fetish model.
So where do I land in all of this?
Well let me just say, there is nothing wrong with being an aspiring fetish model. It's just all about how you go about becoming one. Proclaiming that your a "fetish model" before you've ever established yourself in any manner is preposterous. I've been involved in the community since I was 18 and I'm turning 25 on September 6th. I've been at this for awhile and just in the past year did I really start pushing myself as my own product.
The last and most important key to me is being a fetish model or pro domme is actually being interested in the BDSM - Fetish world. Most people who make it on some level in this industry are actually kinky. Kinky isn't wanting to tie a woman to a bed and fuck her, that's rough sex. I see it all the time, people think they are kinky until they are around kinky people and they realize just how vanilla they are. There is nothing wrong with being vanilla but a pro domme should be kinky. It's their job to make the client feel at ease and there are just too many pro dommes that are only in it for the money that they think they can make.
Many models also aren't kinky and that is a shame to me as well. If your not kinky and want to model - don't do fetish modeling. America is the best country in the world at selling a lie so I guess it's naive of me to think that the fetish industry should be any different.
Personally, it's been a process for me but the past year has been a good one for me and I expect to continue to grow and push boundaries. I will be at FETISHCON in Tampa Bay July 28-31. I've already schedule lots of gigs with several different people. I also hope to work some old friends that I've never gotten to work with yet like Nyssa Nevers. I've also been asked to model for a tattoo book so I'm excited about that as well.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Internet Etiquette for Dumb People (Fetlife)
On sites such as Fetlife people need to understand that it is largely used for networking. People like myself love Fetlife because it makes my life that much easier. In general it is used for groups that want to get people out, it's a forum, a place to advertise for events, parties, personal ads, jobs and a place for kinky people to stay in touch with one another.
So, the #1 thing I hate is when people question certain people for having so many friends. If you assume that everyone is a friend collector then I have the right to assume that people with only a few friends are loners or that they aren't very kinky because their activity on the site is minimal. Is that fair of me to do, no and so I don't think like that.
Although, it is fair of me to question why your on a site like this and not taking full advantage of it. Why have a bunch of random pictures but not one picture of yourself? If your afraid to show your face show you could at least show a body part or just edit out your face.
On occasion I'll send a friend request and then not email them for a day or so because sometimes I don't have time to send a detailed email. I'm on the go a lot, like right now I only have 30 minutes in between classes while I'm sitting at the library. Maybe I enjoyed your page and wanted to bookmark you but since they don't have an option for that I sent you a friend request and then would email you as soon as I had more free time.
So, people who say I will delete you without an email when a friend request is sent is a bit bogus. Even still, go ahead and delete the friend request but don't send me an email talking shit. If you don't want to add someone don't but then don't go out of your way to talk shit and make assumptions about someone you don't know.
Here is the link to the profile on Fetlife of the person I had an encounter with today. Then below that is the email he sent me, the email I sent in return and then his response to my email.
www.fetlife.com/users/355497
His email to me after I sent him a friend request:
You obviously didn't read my profile page before you sent your request, by not doing this or not following the friend instructions, you have been given an automatic NO!
You said in your own profile, "I'm well rounded, open minded, artsey, sporty, heavily tattooed, KINKY, at times androygenous and did I mention kinky" But you forgot to mention that you have no manners, show no respect to Dominants and that you act rudely. On top of that your sheer number of friends makes me think you collect them like badges, you can't possibly converse with each one on a regular basis. I only have a few because I want quality not quantity.
Do not contact me again.
My response:
If I have no manners then you jump to conclusions. Perhaps I just didn't have the time at that particular moment to send you an email and that I had intentions of doing so. I added you because I enjoyed many of your pictures which happen to be fiction. Websites like this usually entail added pictures of yourself, not random pictures of things that aren't you, in fact that may make me think negative things about you. However, I didn't jump to that conclusion.
So, the #1 thing I hate is when people question certain people for having so many friends. If you assume that everyone is a friend collector then I have the right to assume that people with only a few friends are loners or that they aren't very kinky because their activity on the site is minimal. Is that fair of me to do, no and so I don't think like that.
Although, it is fair of me to question why your on a site like this and not taking full advantage of it. Why have a bunch of random pictures but not one picture of yourself? If your afraid to show your face show you could at least show a body part or just edit out your face.
On occasion I'll send a friend request and then not email them for a day or so because sometimes I don't have time to send a detailed email. I'm on the go a lot, like right now I only have 30 minutes in between classes while I'm sitting at the library. Maybe I enjoyed your page and wanted to bookmark you but since they don't have an option for that I sent you a friend request and then would email you as soon as I had more free time.
So, people who say I will delete you without an email when a friend request is sent is a bit bogus. Even still, go ahead and delete the friend request but don't send me an email talking shit. If you don't want to add someone don't but then don't go out of your way to talk shit and make assumptions about someone you don't know.
Here is the link to the profile on Fetlife of the person I had an encounter with today. Then below that is the email he sent me, the email I sent in return and then his response to my email.
www.fetlife.com/users/355497
His email to me after I sent him a friend request:
You obviously didn't read my profile page before you sent your request, by not doing this or not following the friend instructions, you have been given an automatic NO!
You said in your own profile, "I'm well rounded, open minded, artsey, sporty, heavily tattooed, KINKY, at times androygenous and did I mention kinky" But you forgot to mention that you have no manners, show no respect to Dominants and that you act rudely. On top of that your sheer number of friends makes me think you collect them like badges, you can't possibly converse with each one on a regular basis. I only have a few because I want quality not quantity.
Do not contact me again.
My response:
If I have no manners then you jump to conclusions. Perhaps I just didn't have the time at that particular moment to send you an email and that I had intentions of doing so. I added you because I enjoyed many of your pictures which happen to be fiction. Websites like this usually entail added pictures of yourself, not random pictures of things that aren't you, in fact that may make me think negative things about you. However, I didn't jump to that conclusion.
I also didn't jump to the conclusion that your a loner because you have so few friends. I am not a friend collector, the reason I have so many friends is because people know who I am. In Chicago I am one of the most recognized people in the bdsm community and among cd's and sissies. Across the country and many in other countries people know me from my work in bdsm films. I also upkeep a kinky public blog, a twitter and network with numerous people as being a professional film bottom is my part time job as I put myself through college. Because of that I have a lot of friends where 90% of them are friend requests sent to me.
So before you send rude emails where you jump to conclusions because I didn't sent you an email immediately along with a friend invitation maybe you should rethink your online networking strategy or perhaps go fuck yourself.
The rude mother-fucker
Autoeroticboy
Autoeroticboy
His response:
you didn't have time to show respect by writing first even though it says to do so? that is RUDE ! Not to mention that you responded back after I said not to, that just makes you STUPID also.
Do I care about it if you think I am a loner? NOT A DAM BIT!
Do I care about all the people who befriend you? why should I? your no one to me.
I don't care about you, your work or your friends, you seem to PUFF yourself up just to hear you talk about how great you are, in my book that makes you PATHETIC!
I don't care about you, your work or your friends, you seem to PUFF yourself up just to hear you talk about how great you are, in my book that makes you PATHETIC!
I don't care whether you like my pictures or not, think they are not real or not, and I don't care to share my pictures of myself with most of the LOSERS on fetlife. once someone has shown respect, trust and a willingness to be real, THEN and ONLY THEN do they get blessed with my photograph.
you got a rude responce because you are an IDIOT, your RUDE and have no concept of how to treat people, especially when they PLAINLY ask how they wish to be treated. My online networking strategy has been fine for everyone else but you, hmmm I wonder why that is??
At least it confirms my thought about you that you are rude, given your signature at the end of your last email, but I really didn't need to know that you fuck your mother! but it does make sence that you would.
I'm sure you'll get all pissy and write an even more rude email but you can be assured that if you do, I won't even bother to open it, your BULLSHIT isn't worth anymore of my time.
OH yes you have my permission to go fuck yourself aswell.
At least it confirms my thought about you that you are rude, given your signature at the end of your last email, but I really didn't need to know that you fuck your mother! but it does make sence that you would.
I'm sure you'll get all pissy and write an even more rude email but you can be assured that if you do, I won't even bother to open it, your BULLSHIT isn't worth anymore of my time.
OH yes you have my permission to go fuck yourself aswell.
Because he says he wouldn't respond if I sent him a little email I left a comment on one of his fake pictures. Normally, I just disregard such emails and I rarely if ever get something so rude but this one just bothered me. My response to his email was purposely rude to fit his assumption of me.
The most important rule to always remember is know who your talking to. Someone that has power over you in a situation is not smart to talk shit to. I have power because I just put him on blast on my blog and because I know a lot more people than he does. I also love how he called everyone else on fetlife who he is not friends with "losers".
So always be aware of who you talk shit to and stop being so damn uptight. It's a social networking site for kinksters. If you just want to sit in your corner and not talk to anyone you mine as well not be on the site.
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