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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Pushed

The title says it all, I want to be pushed.

I've been kinky since I was a child. I have detailed memories of me stealing my grandfathers diapers when he was on his death bed so that I could wear them. I learned how to masturbate limp 6-7 years before I hit puberty. I recall being aroused by Cameron Diaz when she was tied up in "The Mask", I was 8 then. I would borrow and steal girls clothes when I was at their houses, not to smell them but to wear them and I wore my sisters clothes as well. I almost burnt down the bathroom in my house when I tied myself up and dripped hot wax all over my chest, nipples and cock/balls. I put nails through ping pong paddles because spanking wasn't enough, I wanted to draw blood. At 17 I skipped a basketball game to have my first professional session. At 18 I had a session in Ohio and 2 more in Illinois. Just turning 19 I entered a slave training contract with Vonlivid www.agentfetish.com for 1 1/2 years. A few months later I served Miss Jaded for a few months and then we entered into a couple year personal relationship. In between all of this there were many more dirty, kinky, perverted things going on.

The past 8 months has been great for me. I'm single, happy, finishing my degree at Ohio University and after getting back to my typical self after a break up kink has been great to me. So one might say.... what else could I want?

I want to be pushed. To be abused, mentally and physically. I want to be bent in weird ways, forced to do things I'm maybe not too keen on, made to do things that are beyond humiliating, to be embarrassed, under someones control. I know better than anyone that kink is not all about the bottom but the point of anyone entering any sort of relationship is for both sides to feel satisfaction. Now, I'm not in a relationship right now with anyone, not personally or in kink. So, when I do play with someone the above is what I need.

Lots of people who know me know that I'm not your "typical slave" if there even is such a thing. What I mean by this is I also do kinky films as a part time job and I'm actually friends with a lot of people that I play with. Just as I can separate my kinky life to my vanilla life I want someone who can do the same with me. What I need is someone who is as fucked in the head as me. I know what I want and I'm confident in myself now I need someone who is just as confident and ready to enter into a world of extreme kink with me.

PUSH, PUSh, PUsh, Push, push. I don't like to say I want my limits pushed because things aren't really limits. I am picky who I play with personally as it's something that is important to me. I want us to connect so that the both of us get pure joy out of doing these nasty, disgusting, painful, embarrassing, sexual things together. There are a lot of things I haven't done and am even a little hesitant to talk about but want to do only because that is me giving all my control over to someone else and pleasing them and that is what I also get the most joy out of.

Honestly, I can count on 1 hand of the Dommes that I personally know and I feel could do this. One of them I get to see in Pittsburgh March 19 and saying I'm excited is an under statement.

I'm a patient person and with me finishing school in Ohio I know it's difficult for me to really find anyone to play with very regularly so I guess I just have to continue this route until I graduate which thankfully isn't too much longer... Just over a year to go.

So if you didn't get the message...
PUSH ME!

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